I Don't Need My Therapist to Be My Friend
I have been feeling pretty good lately. & nbsp;Probably somewhat lonely I guess, but who wouldn ' t be that spent day after day by themselves at home working with very little social interaction. < br / > < br / > I am still behind in my work, but pleased I am actually DOING it. & nbsp;And there have been no complaints to speak of about " Where is my order?? " . & nbsp;I have been trying to work on my communication when it comes to not meeting my shipping commitment dates. < br / > < br / > Mark ' s parents will be here Sunday. & nbsp;O-M-G. & nbsp;I have had all of the clutter picked up MAJORLY! & nbsp;(Okay, so I paid for...
Source: bipolar.and.me - June 24, 2016 Category: Psychiatry Source Type: blogs
I Don't Need My Therapist to Be My Friend
I have been feeling pretty good lately. Probably somewhat lonely I guess, but who wouldn't be that spent day after day by themselves at home working with very little social interaction.I am still behind in my work, but pleased I am actually DOING it. And there have been no complaints to speak of about "Where is my order??". I have been trying to work on my communication when it comes to not meeting my shipping commitment dates.Mark's parents will be here Sunday. O-M-G. I have had all of the clutter picked up MAJORLY! (Okay, so I paid for most of it, but I have done a lot of it myself as ...
Source: bipolar.and.me - June 24, 2016 Category: Psychiatry Source Type: blogs
Keep Trying.
I have a lot of work to do which I do not want to do, behind as always. Maybe that is why I am writing so much, but I looked at blogs that have been around as long as I have been - 10 - 11 years? Many have become complete advocacy blogs, sharing absolutely nothing about themselves any longer. What does that mean? Have they finally got their crap together, after 10 years? It certainly seems that I should as well. Yet why haven't I? I went to one of the best psychiatrists in Illinois, yet...I do not. If I have not blogged about that experience, which is very possible as I just ...
Source: bipolar.and.me - June 15, 2016 Category: Psychiatry Source Type: blogs
Hello - Me Again.
I do not really want to read my last post, but I am guessing it was written when I thought I did not have much anxiety but actually did. The sad part is that it was better than it had been for several days - much better.I question if I will ever be able to work like I used to. I get so anxious that it is truly, truly debilitating. Then I think something is wrong with ME. Why can't I just get up and work? Why am I so lazy, sitting around, reading news and getting even more anxious? I literally do not think I am able to work. Just like depression - it can be so bad that I can not wor...
Source: bipolar.and.me - June 15, 2016 Category: Psychiatry Source Type: blogs
Thoughts Are Scrambled and Everywhere - Maybe I Am Too
It has been really rough lately. I pretty much ran out of klonipin. I want to say I do not know how it happens, but obviously I take too much in a certain time frame. But how could I take THAT MUCH? Both Adderall and Klonipin - the two worst medications I could take too much of, I usually do within the month.I now have my Klonipin back and have felt so sick for almost a week lately. I thought I would take it and ta-da, all of my negative thoughts that were keeping me from getting my wreaths done would be gone. I am so far behind that just that is a lot for me to deal with. I hate w...
Source: bipolar.and.me - June 14, 2016 Category: Psychiatry Source Type: blogs
Let's Start Talking!!
Although I am not exactly heavily pushing, I find it extremely difficult to start a conversation about suicide. & nbsp;For my age group, it is the number one cause of death. & nbsp;To me, that says that everyone must know of someone that has committed suicide. & nbsp;Yet no one wants to talk about it? & nbsp;Why? < br / > It is scary, but I am slowly becoming more open about my illness. & nbsp;I haven ' t really said that I am. bipolar and do not feel much guilt about that. & nbsp;My psychiatrist tells me quite often I am " mildly bipolar " . < br / > < br / > Don ' t get me wrong - I am not in denial or saying I do not ha...
Source: bipolar.and.me - June 5, 2016 Category: Psychiatry Source Type: blogs
Let's Start Talking!!
Although I am not exactly heavily pushing, I find it extremely difficult to start a conversation about suicide. For my age group, it is the number one cause of death. To me, that says that everyone must know of someone that has committed suicide. Yet no one wants to talk about it? Why?It is scary, but I am slowly becoming more open about my illness. I haven't really said that I am. bipolar and do not feel much guilt about that. My psychiatrist tells me quite often I am "mildly bipolar". Don't get me wrong - I am not in denial or saying I do not have it, I do. And I need to have a d...
Source: bipolar.and.me - June 5, 2016 Category: Psychiatry Source Type: blogs
Just Deal Already
Once again it is 2:19 am, and I have been up since 12:30 am. I stayed in bed and slept or just laid there yesterday because I was tired. I guess that is why - I am not sure. Spending time with Mark lately is not exactly enjoyable. Yes, it takes "two to tango". He has said, even in ..marriage counseling, that he is miserable and it does not matter what happens, he will always be miserable. I have been thinking about that for a lot. This has been going on for YEARS! I do not dare to look back in my blog to when it first started, but I know it is 5+ years that he has been unple...
Source: bipolar.and.me - May 31, 2016 Category: Psychiatry Source Type: blogs
It's 2:00 am I Must Be Lonely
It ' s 1:42am on Monday, Memorial Day. & nbsp;I have been up for at least an hour. & nbsp;I would say " typical " , but since I have been taking Zonegran, I have been sleeping SO MUCH, and when I am not sleeping I have zero energy. & nbsp;It comes in capsules, so I asked my psychiatrist if I could take half last night - just open up the capsule, take half, and put the cap back on. & nbsp;She said I could. < br / > < br / > This is new to me. & nbsp;Normally, and never before would I have asked to do that. & nbsp;I would have just done it and told my doctor on my next visit. & nbsp;But she read in my psychiatrist ' s record...
Source: bipolar.and.me - May 30, 2016 Category: Psychiatry Source Type: blogs
It's 2:00 am I Must Be Lonely
It's 1:42am on Monday, Memorial Day. I have been up for at least an hour. I would say "typical", but since I have been taking Zonegran, I have been sleeping SO MUCH, and when I am not sleeping I have zero energy. It comes in capsules, so I asked my psychiatrist if I could take half last night - just open up the capsule, take half, and put the cap back on. She said I could.This is new to me. Normally, and never before would I have asked to do that. I would have just done it and told my doctor on my next visit. But she read in my psychiatrist's records that I do that often, so she re...
Source: bipolar.and.me - May 30, 2016 Category: Psychiatry Source Type: blogs
Saturday BlahDay
It's Saturday afternoon, and Mark and I had breakfast together and then went to marriage counseling. Our counseling used to be sort of easy, but the last few sessions have become combative and I am not sure why. Now I wait for something to come up for him to start complaining about me. I know those are the wrong words, not really complaining. I am not even sure what we are arguing about. What is the struggle exactly? He seems to be the one with the problem, but why?I started back on Zonegran about a week ago and have been *so tired*. When we got home from counseling, I went straigh...
Source: bipolar.and.me - May 28, 2016 Category: Psychiatry Source Type: blogs
Friend in Need is a Friend Indeed
I was locked out of my blog once again, and just now figured out how to access it again. It looks like there have been changes to blogger, and I have emailed the person who has fixed my blog before, but that was several years ago!I am so sleepy, do not think I have much in me to write an entry. I have a friend who has been suicidal for some time, but she did not tell me at first. I knew she was very, very depressed and wondered if suicide was on her mind. Finally she told me it was. I wanted her to know she had someone to talk to that would not judge her, so I briefly told her about what I wen...
Source: bipolar.and.me - May 28, 2016 Category: Psychiatry Source Type: blogs
I'm Back In My Blog!!
Oh my gosh! & nbsp;Finally back into my blog! & nbsp;I have been locked out, trying to get it on the gmail platform and forgetting my username/password! & nbsp;Finally I have it figured out. : ) < br / > < br / > I have no idea where to start...maybe from here forward. < br / > < br / > I have really, really missed writing, more than I could ever convey in words. & nbsp;It is so important for me I now see, not that I did not realize that in the past. & nbsp;But now I *really* realize it! < br / > < br / > I am glad I will be able to stream my conscienceness once again. & nbsp;I did start a new blog but it wasn ' t the same...
Source: bipolar.and.me - February 29, 2016 Category: Psychiatry Source Type: blogs
I'm Back In My Blog!!
Oh my gosh! Finally back into my blog! I have been locked out, trying to get it on the gmail platform and forgetting my username/password! Finally I have it figured out. : )I have no idea where to start...maybe from here forward.I have really, really missed writing, more than I could ever convey in words. It is so important for me I now see, not that I did not realize that in the past. But now I *really* realize it!I am glad I will be able to stream my conscienceness once again. I did start a new blog but it wasn't the same. I did not make it public (probably better, actually), and...
Source: bipolar.and.me - February 29, 2016 Category: Psychiatry Source Type: blogs
Happy? Me? Strange, new feeling! : )
I am actually happy and content with my life right now! It is a wonderful, if not scary, feeling. I haven't felt this good in so long that I can't even remember when it was. I find it sad that whenever I am simply happy I don't trust my feelings. I have to analyze "am I too happy?", but no, I have zero hypomanic symptoms. I really am simply happy. Then I start worrying and even warning people about how depressed I can get and probably will be again soon. Surely this can't last? And I know it won't. Eventually, for everyone, something situational will happen to bri...
Source: bipolar.and.me - September 27, 2014 Category: Psychiatry Source Type: blogs
