Closed Shop - Opening A New Chapter
I get so anxious for no reason sometimes. We did not get into a fight after I wrote that last post, but I completely understand why he was so upset about work, as well as understand why I would be anxious. I need to work on that about myself and have been - trying to be more in the moment. Obviously I have a LOT of work to do.I was so sedated being on 100mg of Topomax that I cut the tablet in half and am now just taking 50mg. I need to text my psychiatrist and tell her that I have done that. I have a lot more energy now.I told the ecommerce site yesterday that I wanted to close my shop. The or...
Source: bipolar.and.me - February 28, 2017 Category: Psychiatry Source Type: blogs
Please Not a Fight...
Chris called and is on his way home, will be here shortly. Quick predictor - this will be a terrible night and we most likely will argue. I have not done anything that has made him angry and no one is upset at him at work. Someone got a big promotion at work, in a different department from him, for a job that he did not apply for. And he is furious that this person who got the job is a full VP while he is not. Yet...he did not apply for the job. And he does not even work in that department.As a matter of fact, he would have had an excellent chance of having this very job had he stayed in that ...
Source: bipolar.and.me - February 23, 2017 Category: Psychiatry Source Type: blogs
Please Not a Fight...
Mark called and is on his way home, will be here shortly. Quick predictor - this will be a terrible night and we most likely will argue. I have not done anything that has made him angry and no one is upset at him at work. Someone got a big promotion at work, in a different department from him, for a job that he did not apply for. And he is furious that this person who got the job is a full VP while he is not. Yet...he did not apply for the job. And he does not even work in that department.As a matter of fact, he would have had an excellent chance of having this very job had he stayed in that d...
Source: bipolar.and.me - February 23, 2017 Category: Psychiatry Source Type: blogs
Lots of Changes
Over a month ago, my psychiatrist prescribed Topomax for my migraines. She asked how often I was getting them which I had not considered, but it was about half of the month.Since I started taking it, I have had one migraine not long after I started taking it, and that is it! I feel SO much better. How in the world did I live that way? No choice I suppose. Now just cold like allergy symptoms that I am working on.I have had some personality changes though since I started taking Topomax. Some good, some not so good. Since it has basically given me my life back, I need to work it out.But sinc...
Source: bipolar.and.me - February 21, 2017 Category: Psychiatry Source Type: blogs
Lots of Changes
Over a month ago, my psychiatrist prescribed Topomax for my migraines. She asked how often I was getting them which I had not considered, but it was about half of the month.Since I started taking it, I have had one migraine not long after I started taking it, and that is it! I feel SO much better. How in the world did I live that way? No choice I suppose. Now just cold like allergy symptoms that I am working on.I have had some personality changes though since I started taking Topomax. Some good, some not so good. Since it has basically given me my life back, I need to work it out.But sinc...
Source: bipolar.and.me - February 21, 2017 Category: Psychiatry Source Type: blogs
Hope Lost, I Guess Long Ago
I just don ' t feel well. An overall feeling of not feeling good, fatigue, yet my stomach - is it anxiety? This time it is...is it an ache? I do not know, I am trying to tell the difference between overwhelming anxiety and physical pain. I give up. It just feels the way it feels but I am glad I am not in bad pain and not stuck in bed. I just feel yucky. I am so tired of feeling this way, if indeed all of this time it has been physical pain.Am I the only one that experiences this confusion? Not being able to tell the difference between horrible anxiety and stomach pain? Not sharp...
Source: bipolar.and.me - January 9, 2017 Category: Psychiatry Source Type: blogs
Hope Lost, I Guess Long Ago
I just don ' t feel well. An overall feeling of not feeling good, fatigue, yet my stomach - is it anxiety? This time it is...is it an ache? I do not know, I am trying to tell the difference between overwhelming anxiety and physical pain. I give up. It just feels the way it feels but I am glad I am not in bad pain and not stuck in bed. I just feel yucky. I am so tired of feeling this way, if indeed all of this time it has been physical pain.Am I the only one that experiences this confusion? Not being able to tell the difference between horrible anxiety and stomach pain? Not sharp...
Source: bipolar.and.me - January 9, 2017 Category: Psychiatry Source Type: blogs
Emotional Mess!
I have been on the absolute worst emotional rollercoaster for the past few days, it has been a nightmare! Things would get into my mind and fester, growing worse and worse and giving me more anxiety, angst, sadness, anger, the whole range of intense emotions for the entire day.Chris has been the one who has been tolerating my craziness, and I mean it must seem like absolute abandonment of emotional control. He has been so, so patient and understanding, not suggesting anything like not taking medication, mania, simply replying to my rambling, constant and upset texts all day long when I KNOW he is especially busy....
Source: bipolar.and.me - January 6, 2017 Category: Psychiatry Source Type: blogs
Emotional Mess!
I have been on the absolute worst emotional rollercoaster for the past few days, it has been a nightmare! Things would get into my mind and fester, growing worse and worse and giving me more anxiety, angst, sadness, anger, the whole range of intense emotions for the entire day.Mark has been the one who has been tolerating my craziness, and I mean it must seem like absolute abandonment of emotional control. He has been so, so patient and understanding, not suggesting anything like not taking medication, mania, simply replying to my rambling, constant and upset texts all day long when I KNOW he is especially busy.&...
Source: bipolar.and.me - January 6, 2017 Category: Psychiatry Source Type: blogs
Health Update
I finally made it to the doctor yesterday, needing medication for my asthma/bronchitis, and had kind of a laundry list of other issues since I had not been in for awhile.He prescribed the needed steroid I had come for (I have just given in since that is the only thing that works), then we moved on to my...I guess I do need to document this, my apologies to anyone reading this. My bowel movement issues?Not just blood, but once, only blood, and lots of it. That should suffice for details. I had to use a pad that day to catch all of the blood from the WRONG end!No, I did not race to the doctor when it happened,...
Source: bipolar.and.me - January 3, 2017 Category: Psychiatry Source Type: blogs
Health Update
I finally made it to the doctor yesterday, needing medication for my asthma/bronchitis, and had kind of a laundry list of other issues since I had not been in for awhile.He prescribed the needed steroid I had come for (I have just given in since that is the only thing that works), then we moved on to my...I guess I do need to document this, my apologies to anyone reading this. My bowel movement issues?Not just blood, but once, only blood, and lots of it. That should suffice for details. I had to use a pad that day to catch all of the blood from the WRONG end!No, I did not race to the doctor when it happened,...
Source: bipolar.and.me - January 3, 2017 Category: Psychiatry Source Type: blogs
Don't Let The Sun Go Down On Me
I want to write, but I am still not sure what to write, I am unsure what to think about my mother passing, my friend ' s suicide is creeping back into my mind, but I am keeping it together. Sad songs - I have learned to stay away from sad songs.I guess I had the flu for several days, not sure how many. Chris decided to basically vomit all of his issues with me all at once right when I told him I felt sick and was going to bed. I told him it was not good timing, but he basically made me sit there and listen. It was a big waste of time. I know I sat there for awhile but what he said, I have very...
Source: bipolar.and.me - January 2, 2017 Category: Psychiatry Source Type: blogs
Don't Let The Sun Go Down On Me
I want to write, but I am still not sure what to write, I am unsure what to think about my mother passing, my friend ' s suicide is creeping back into my mind, but I am keeping it together. Sad songs - I have learned to stay away from sad songs.I guess I had the flu for several days, not sure how many. Mark decided to basically vomit all of his issues with me all at once right when I told him I felt sick and was going to bed. I told him it was not good timing, but he basically made me sit there and listen. It was a big waste of time. I know I sat there for awhile but what he said, I have very littl...
Source: bipolar.and.me - January 2, 2017 Category: Psychiatry Source Type: blogs
Long and Winding Road
I feel emotionally exhausted, but I did have a huge moment when I realized why I have suddenly been saying things to people that there is no way I would have previously said. They are always very honest statements, and right now, I am being nothing but totally honest. I see no reason not to be, I care less than I did about sparing someone ' s feelings. I feel like people DESERVE to know the truth, and that I must be the truth teller.I am not sure how this occurred to me yesterday, perhaps I was reflecting, but I felt good, really good. Actually, I felt great, so free. It was strange since I just lo...
Source: bipolar.and.me - December 23, 2016 Category: Psychiatry Source Type: blogs
