What Story Do I Have To Share?
I've been asked to write something - at least 500 words - and "share my story". I thought about it, and how rare it is that I find people who I can relate to who can understand what I'm going through, what I've been through, what I feel or have felt, and said I would do it. As many people with blogs know, you get a lot of requests for all kinds of things through email and it is extremely rare that I respond. My purpose is not monetary, to promote anything, even to change the world, and if I help someone through my writing, I am always incredibly surprised. I just write about how I'm feeling and...
Source: bipolar.and.me - May 28, 2013 Category: Mental Illness Source Type: blogs
Sometimes I LOVE Protesters!!
Awhile back, not too long after we moved to the Chicago area, Mark and I were at a strip mall and I had been wanting to buy some new dog treats for my dog. There was pet store next door to the store we had just been in but we had bought a lot of things, so Mark stayed in the car while I ran in to grab some. The name of the store was Petland, so I assumed it was just another store like PetSmart or Petco. I just KNOW I've blogged about this already, but there's more to the story now. So I walk in, and to my horror I realize they sell DOGS! Of course I know what this means - they are respons...
Source: bipolar.and.me - May 27, 2013 Category: Mental Illness Source Type: blogs
Is It Wrong To Wish Someone Didn't Exist?
So...I'm sure everyone is getting information overload about the tornado in Oklahoma, and I am doing my best to stay away from media about it. I've been extremely emotional lately and happened to find out about it before anyone else somehow and when I was breaking the news to people who didn't yet know, I didn't get the reaction I expected which upset me even more and made me question all of humanity in tears. So, yeah, I'm staying away.But I made a comment to my husband which seemed - well, maybe not NORMAL but at least I *thought* it was understandable or I never would have said it, yet he didn't understand i...
Source: bipolar.and.me - May 22, 2013 Category: Mental Illness Source Type: blogs
Call Me Crazy? No, Thanks.
I thought I was overly emotional when I watched this particular show, but I recorded it to watch when I was lying in bed recovering from surgery. I didn't feel like watching it for a long time, but maybe two weeks ago I was folding the laundry on the bed, near the television where I'd decided to record MANY shows where I thought I'd be lying in bed just watching television recovering (didn't happen), I decided to see what it was all about. It was called Call Me Crazy, and I had heard it was supposed to help with breaking down the stigma of mental illness. Jennifer Aniston directed or produced or was invol...
Source: bipolar.and.me - May 20, 2013 Category: Mental Illness Source Type: blogs
Stuck In A Chicago Suburb!
Ugh. Being stuck in the house all day, day after day, week after week, is just not healthy! Especially when the weather looks so nice outside! A nice surprise was that as everything started turning green and the lawn care company came to maintain our lawn, slowly tulips began peeking their way out of the garden bed and have bloomed! When you buy a house in the middle of winter that is covered in inches of snow, you have absolutely NO IDEA what you are getting yard-wise. We have some very, very pretty trees - some flowering, tulips in several flower beds, bushes, but for some rea...
Source: bipolar.and.me - May 14, 2013 Category: Mental Illness Source Type: blogs
Time is Going By soooo slooooow!
I read that Catherine Zeta Jones is back in the hospital for her bipolar disorder, for "maintenance", or whatever reason it may be. She was just diagnosed a few years ago, I believe, and I know for myself it took years upon years to find any sort of drug cocktail that even semi-worked, so I wish her lots of luck. But when it came out publically that she was bipolar, it was a real inspiration to me. First of all, I wondered, wow, what had the Douglas household been through before Zeta Jones was diagnosed and was finally hospitalized? Even big celebrities, like Michael Douglas, can put up with their s...
Source: bipolar.and.me - May 1, 2013 Category: Mental Illness Source Type: blogs
Rescheduled Appt, and a New Neighbor Arrived!
I was sitting on the couch this morning, thinking about how I felt physically, and decided I should not try and drive to the psychiatrist tomorrow, even though I've waited two months for this first appointment. I thought surely if I told them my circumstances, they would be understanding and try to help me out by finding an appointment sooner than two months? So...I called, told the girl what type of surgery I had and that I had waited two months for this appointment and did not want to wait another two months if I had to reschedule, but that I wasn't supposed to, and shouldn't, drive. I was beyond nice, ...
Source: bipolar.and.me - April 25, 2013 Category: Mental Illness Source Type: blogs
Difficult Day
Today has been a very difficult day - difficult meaning painful. I have no idea why, I'm not a doctor. I wrote a post last night that I deleted when I woke up because I thought it was unfair and angry, so I'm unsure what I said and haven't said. Since the nurse told me hydrocodone caused constipation and I haven't had a BM yet and she seemed like that was a big deal, I didn't take any when I woke up, just the 600mg of acetiphentemine. But I'd already had the cramps from the laxative she told me to take yesterday, and honestly, I have no idea why I had so much pain this morning. Finally after n...
Source: bipolar.and.me - April 23, 2013 Category: Mental Illness Source Type: blogs
The Surgery - I Could Never Have Expected This
Mark is freakishly OCD about being on time or early everywhere we go, so when we left to go to the hospital for my surgery, the traffic was bad, it was lightly snowing (yes, I know, on April 19!!), and it appeared we were going to be a bit late. I kept trying to calm him down, telling him they give people huge windows of two to three hours before their surgery even begins to get there. Everyone has their buttons, though. His is traffic, another one of his is finding a parking spot in a parking lot. NOT a good pet peeve living in Chicago. Now *that* I totally dread. I can go from being so...
Source: bipolar.and.me - April 21, 2013 Category: Mental Illness Source Type: blogs
The morning OF!
So, bummer. Yesterday was an all liquids and laxatives day and then I found out yesterday afternoon I don't have to be at the hospital until 2:30, and my surgery will be 2-3 hours AFTER that! Why is that bad news? Because I can not eat *NOR* drink anything today until after my surgery! That's freaking crazy. I did get up and drink a cup of coffee this morning, come on, it's JUST coffee. I was going to snack on a little something yesterday when Mark was home, and he freaked out, saying I would throw up during surgery and choke and die, and I told him they must be prepared for those situat...
Source: bipolar.and.me - April 19, 2013 Category: Mental Illness Source Type: blogs
Who Cares? If Anyone Did, I'd Never Know.
Today is my liquids and laxatives day before the surgery! Yay, I've been so looking forward to this day! Kidding, of course. When I went shopping yesterday for things on the list that I could have, one of them was jello. I've always hated jello, but that was the most substantial thing I could eat. I didn't want to make it myself, it's that disgusting to me, so I found some in the deli and bought it. I had to make sure there wasn't any milk product in it because it did seem like there was whipped cream or something mixed in, but the ingredients sounded horrible! I mean, it's just je...
Source: bipolar.and.me - April 18, 2013 Category: Mental Illness Source Type: blogs
Probably a Different Reaction
So...three days before my hysterectomy, and I'm symptom free of everything! No coughing, no allergies, I'm so happy! Sunday was miserable - walking around the furniture store wiping and blowing my nose with everyone around, but a girl has to do what a girl has to do!I'm sure everyone is upset and touched by the Boston Marathon tragedy, I was very shocked and saddened when I heard about it. I wasn't paying any attention to the news and when my husband asked if I had heard about the Boston, and for some reason this is how horrible tragedies are always relayed to me - on the phone by him, with him sayin...
Source: bipolar.and.me - April 16, 2013 Category: Mental Illness Source Type: blogs
How I Generally Feel on the Weekends
I usually feel better on the weekends and feel like a complete moron for writing such pitiful, self indulgent posts during the week. I guess it's hard to have whole days alone just to think - think - think, waiting for surgery, waiting for school, always waiting! On the weekends Mark is home and we keep somewhat busy, where during the week he gets home and is *so tired* from working so hard, I make dinner, and he goes to bed incredibly early. Maybe by 9:00 or usually before? When you get home at 6:30 or sometimes later, take the time to change your clothes, put things away, eat di...
Source: bipolar.and.me - April 14, 2013 Category: Mental Illness Source Type: blogs
All Alone
I'm down today, I felt like if I started to cry I might not be able to stop so I took a couple of klonipin. I'm don't really think that is why they are prescribed as I believe I was given them for panic and anxiety. I've usually been very good at taking my psychiatric medications as prescribed except perhaps I don't always take AS MUCH of everything as is prescribed, but maybe I'm living under false assumptions and am not facing reality.I may have already been down, I don't recall, but I was reading a forum that is *supposed* to encourage students in my future industry, and it is usually incredibly encouraging....
Source: bipolar.and.me - April 12, 2013 Category: Mental Illness Source Type: blogs
So, I Guess We'll Go With Asthma.
I finally caved and went to my new family doctor today over my crazy exercise induced allergies that are so bizarre and I couldn't figure out. I did tons of internet research, so did my husband, and we found a lot of people with the same thing who couldn't find an answer.He came in and I was just embarrassed to be there AGAIN. Obviously we both know I'm healthy - I was just there for a physical and had blood work and I couldn't possibly be more healthy as far as those things are concerned. I had told him on a previous visit for some reason, I don't know why, about my issues with coughing in the past,...
Source: bipolar.and.me - April 11, 2013 Category: Mental Illness Source Type: blogs
