Hello - Me Again.

I do not really want to read my last post, but I am guessing it was written when I thought I did not have much anxiety but actually did.  The sad part is that it was better than it had been for several days - much better.I question if I will ever be able to work like I used to.  I get so anxious that it is truly, truly debilitating.  Then I think something is wrong with ME.  Why can't I just get up and work?  Why am I so lazy, sitting around, reading news and getting even more anxious?  I literally do not think I am able to work.  Just like depression - it can be so bad that I can not work then either.  I do not feel depressed AT THIS VERY SECOND, so I can not describe exactly how that feels.  I can remember, but not enough to describe the details.Because of the anxiety, thinking of worse case scenarios of everything, especially myself, it only raises my anxiety more.  In my mind, eventually, I have lost everything, my business, my husband, my dog, my house, my life.  And of course it is all my fault, and of course I deserve it.Still now, after a few klonipin, I am questioning it.  Will I?  And do I?  I actually do not think I am deserving of anything really.  Who am I that I can stay home and work on a home business that is paying for itself and any profit I reinvest back in the business but I have not been helping the family finances.  That must be bullshit to my husband.  I am not contribu...
Source: bipolar.and.me - Category: Psychiatry Source Type: blogs