A True Glutton For Punishment…
I was standing in line at midnight at our local Wal-Mart this morning. I was hoping that they would be slow since it was so late. Folks, let me tell you that Wal-Mart was hopping last night and they only had two lanes open as well. “Dear God! What have I gotten myself into?” was what I was thinking as I stood in a lengthy checkout line. I could feel the anxiety welling up inside of me. I kept telling myself that a little anxiety never killed anyone and that I would make it through this. This was one incident where the best laid plans can go awry. I’ll give Wal-Mart a wide berth till after Christmas....
Source: The 4th Avenue Blues - December 21, 2013 Category: Mental Illness Authors: Andrew Quixote Source Type: blogs
Tick-Tock Just Like a Clock…
Maggie started her standard family greeting protocol when my father pulled up after work at 2PM. He had a drink and a brown paper bag in his hand which greatly interested Maggie and I both as we looked out the window. In the bag turned out to be two of the better barbeque sandwiches I have ever eaten. I prostrated myself before my father for such a wonderful surprise. I was just about to leave the house to go to the Zen House and get some takeout Chinese – General Tao’s chicken and two eggrolls. (Source: The 4th Avenue Blues)
Source: The 4th Avenue Blues - December 21, 2013 Category: Mental Illness Authors: Andrew Quixote Source Type: blogs
Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree…
I can’t believe it, but Christmas is almost here! I am so excited! It is my favorite time of the year as it harkens back to the many Christmases of my childhood. All fondly remembered of course. There are already plenty of presents under my parent’s Christmas tree. I wonder what Santa brought me? COMPUTER PARTS! lol I asked Charlie last night what Horsefly is getting for Christmas. “He’s getting six cans of various shaving creams, a Samsung flat screen LCD television to watch Dora and Sesame Street with, and lots of clothes,” Charlie told me. I smiled. Charlie had also cut my hair the other night and wanted to s...
Source: The 4th Avenue Blues - December 20, 2013 Category: Mental Illness Authors: Andrew Quixote Source Type: blogs
Through the Eyes of the Beholder…
Well, I couldn’t put it off any longer. Mom was about to literally cry she was getting so fed up with me changing this appointment. My secretary takes this kind of stuff extremely seriously. You just don’t miss appointments in her world folks. This morning is my appointment with my optometrist. My doctor wants to check my eyes and see if my contacts are fitting okay. He also wants to see if any changes in my prescription need to occur. Mom has been thinking of things that would encourage me to go so we are going for beef burrito supremes at Taco Hell and dessert at Sonic afterwards. Weirdly, mom has ...
Source: The 4th Avenue Blues - December 18, 2013 Category: Mental Illness Authors: Andrew Quixote Source Type: blogs
A Few Fumbling Fingers Reach for that Hail Mary Pass…
Found my car keys early this morning in a heavily frost covered yard. Winter will be here very soon. Isn’t it the 21st? This chill kind of invades the marrow of my bones and makes me shiver violently. Me? I am having trouble putting two words together correctly this morning. Dad just called to see if I found my car keys and I told him,”Yes! Thank God!” I’ve learned never to put all my eggs in one basket and keep my house key separate from my car keys. We have what we call the key disease in this family where we consistently lose our keys. There is no cure, but we have found certain coping m...
Source: The 4th Avenue Blues - December 17, 2013 Category: Mental Illness Authors: Andrew Quixote Source Type: blogs
I Just Felt Strange and Uneasy While Reading This… Imposition Maybe?
Imposition is a very big no-no for people with lots of social anxiety. I guess in reality people will never know what you need if you don’t ask them, eh? I would just do without rather than to succumb to that level of imposition. I think “The Homeless Guy” lost whatever humility or pride he had left after living all those years homeless. It's Christmas Time! by Kevin Barbieux (The Homeless Guy) And Christmas means presents! I am completely open to receiving any presents you might have in mind to send. You can use the paypal link on this page to send donations, or you can s...
Source: The 4th Avenue Blues - December 16, 2013 Category: Mental Illness Authors: Andrew Quixote Source Type: blogs
29 Degrees and I Dropped My Keys…
“Can you see them?” my father asked sounding aggravated as I was on all fours on the ground trying to find the keys I had just dropped. It was 29 degrees and I was out in my front yard with a cigar lighter wishing all hopes on a lost cause. My flashlight’s batteries were dead of course. “We’ll find them in the morning at daybreak,” I finally told my father. My father and I headed to buy my groceries. I am hoping dawn will shed new light on the matter literally and figuratively. (Source: The 4th Avenue Blues)
Source: The 4th Avenue Blues - December 16, 2013 Category: Mental Illness Authors: Andrew Quixote Source Type: blogs
I Come to you a Clean Shaven and Well Manicured Man…
<-----Looks like Mr. Phil Spector was having a bad hair day. Every so often Charlie will cut my hair when my father deems it appropriate. I just spent the last 30 minutes a captive audience and listening to how bad the world has gotten as Charlie snipped away. Depression central. “How does that look?” Charlie asked me as we looked in my bathroom mirror. “I feel so depressed now with everything that is wrong with the world,” I replied solemnly. “I am not sure I still want to live anymore.” I could hear my father burst out laughing loudly in the next room watching a ballgame. “You all ar...
Source: The 4th Avenue Blues - December 15, 2013 Category: Mental Illness Authors: Andrew Quixote Source Type: blogs
Can I Get a Five Finger Discount on my Books?
I really enjoyed The Book Thief despite all the odds. It plays a little bit too safe in its handling of its Nazi Germany setting, though. The Book Thief counters its constraints with a respectful tone and strong performances. I am slowly becoming jaded with all these so called film critics. I much more enjoyed The Book Thief than I did say Gravity. Maybe I am just weird when it all boils down to it. I want character development instead of all that kinetic action in a film. One thing is for true, though, that two hours is about the limit I can sit and watch a film. I got very fidgety and antsy towards the end j...
Source: The 4th Avenue Blues - December 14, 2013 Category: Mental Illness Authors: Andrew Quixote Source Type: blogs
Polar Bears Would Love to Live With Me…
I groggily woke up this morning and Maggie was bundled up and flush to my chest under the covers. She was cold. Once I stuck my head out of the covers then I realized how cold it actually was in my house. The thermostat said the temperature was 67. I don’t think I have ever seen it that low since I have lived here. I turned the heat on and it felt almost tropical as the temp climbed to 70 degrees and above. I jumped back in bed with Maggie until it could warm up some. By now, Maggie had woken up good and it was Cootie catching time! Maggie preened for a good half hour before settling b...
Source: The 4th Avenue Blues - December 14, 2013 Category: Mental Illness Authors: Andrew Quixote Source Type: blogs
Now THIS is What is Called a Breakfast here in the South…
“Come on, Maggie! Let’s get some awesome breakfast cooking!” Maggie certainly knows those words well as she excitedly jumped off the bed and followed me into the kitchen. I got in the kitchen early this morning and fried sausage, boiled and simmered some grits, made some toast, and then finally scrambled some eggs. It looks like a real deal meal from the Waffle House except they are not as generous with the portions at that establishment. (Source: The 4th Avenue Blues)
Source: The 4th Avenue Blues - December 13, 2013 Category: Mental Illness Authors: Andrew Quixote Source Type: blogs
A Motivating Factor…
The day has just begun and things are already getting busy. I had my antipsychotic injection in the derrière this morning. Rebecca was a regular chatterbox and oh so personal as usual. I just sat and listened as she stood and told me what she got her daughter for Christmas. I would occasionally smile. She makes small talk so easy. She gets the socially anxious person's seal of approval. Mom and I then head out to see The Book Thief at 1:30 PM. Mom sounded excited on the phone this morning. We are also eating lunch at Chic-Fil-A. I can consume their sandwiches in vast amounts if money wasn’...
Source: The 4th Avenue Blues - December 12, 2013 Category: Mental Illness Authors: Andrew Quixote Source Type: blogs
No Show at the Show…
I set my alarm clock to wake me at high noon. I woke up and immediately called my mother to make sure she was up and getting ready. “Andrew,” my mother said plainly and painfully. “I just really don’t feel like going this afternoon.” I am no stranger to the fickle winds of mental illness under whose duress mom and I are often under. I told her not to worry about it at all and to go back to sleep. I was actually content to spend a lazy late afternoon on my computer. “At least, drive over here and get twenty dollars,” my mother persistently implored of me. “It will buy you a good supper in c...
Source: The 4th Avenue Blues - December 10, 2013 Category: Mental Illness Authors: Andrew Quixote Source Type: blogs
Come On In! The Lights are On and the Heater is Lit…
Life has a weird way of working out for the best at times. Sometimes, even jaded old me can be surprised. I never got my sodas or cigarettes yesterday and decided to drive over tonight on the odd chance to see if they were on the porch. It was 1 AM, past midnight mind you, and every light in my parent’s house was on. “I saw you pull in and I got your Cokes ready,” my father said opening the back door with a grin. I thanked him profusely needing a little jolt of caffeine and sugar tonight. “Will you put up my outside Christmas lights this year?” my father then very apprehensively asked. “Boy, ...
Source: The 4th Avenue Blues - December 9, 2013 Category: Mental Illness Authors: Andrew Quixote Source Type: blogs
The Poodle Tree…
Charlie's owned a lot of houses over the years. One of his past houses I drive by on my way to my parent’s house every day. It is a retired professor from LaGrange College that bought the house. The poodle tree sits in his front yard and every year it is the prettiest decorated tree in town. Dad and I were talking on the phone about it just a moment ago. It is just chock full of colored Christmas lights. Nothing fancy. Just pretty. “Let’s do your front hedges like that,” I told my father. Dad laughed. “You’ve already bitten off more that you can chew,” he replied with rega...
Source: The 4th Avenue Blues - December 9, 2013 Category: Mental Illness Authors: Andrew Quixote Source Type: blogs
