Chaos, Order, Meaning and Eating
One feeling that drives
disregulated eaters towards food is not being in control of a situation. That’s
a difficult position for all of us to be in and our perspective informs our
attitude toward how we handle it. The more rational your views on what you can
and can’t control, the more likely you won’t eat when control is out of your
hands.
The world is a chaotic place—nature
does its thing, world events impact us socially, culturally and financially,
people push their own agenda’s, accidents befall us, and our bodies get sick and
grow old. Inescapably, helplessness is at its worst when we’re very yo...
Source: Normal Eating - March 1, 2013 Category: Eating Disorders Authors: eatnormalnow Source Type: blogs
Learning to Connect with Appetite Takes Focus
Here’s a snippet of dialogue I have
at least once a week with clients. They say, “It’s hard to eat without
distraction. It’s weird and I don’t like it.” And I say, “Understanding how
you’ve changed in other areas will help you form a new habit in this one.”
I vividly recall one such
conversation with a client who insisted that it felt intolerable not to watch
TV/read/play computer games/answer emails while she was eating, but agreed that
the discomfort was probably more habit than anything else. I explained that neurons
that fire together wire together, and that her eating while doing other thin...
Source: Normal Eating - February 25, 2013 Category: Eating Disorders Authors: eatnormalnow Source Type: blogs
Fixed versus Growth Mindset
In the September/October issue of Psychotherapy Networker, I read a review of a
book entitled MINDSET: THE NEW PSYCHOLOGY OF SUCCESS by Stanford University
developmental psychologist Carol Dweck which explains how our self-view can be
changed to spur us on to success by shifting our mindsets. It’s really quite simple.
The article (about bullying) explains
Dweck’s concept of fixed versus growth mindsets. People with a fixed
mindset see themselves and their attributes or inadequacies as more or less permanent—they’re
good at some things and bad at others, outgoing or shy, lovable or unlovable.
Fixed-minds...
Source: Normal Eating - February 22, 2013 Category: Eating Disorders Authors: eatnormalnow Source Type: blogs
Fat Can Be Fit
I read two articles in the same
week (in the 12/12 issue of the Duke Medicine Newsletter and in the Tufts Health
and Nutrition Letter) that said fat people can be fit, so that means the truth
is finally getting out. The original study these articles were based on was described
in the 9/5/12 EUROPEAN HEART JOURNAL. If you’re tired of your doctors insisting
that you have to lose weight to be healthy, listen up.
The bottom line, based on a study
of more than 43,000 Americans, is that although obesity is often associated
with disease, a subgroup of obese people don’t suffer from what medicine calls
“metaboli...
Source: Normal Eating - February 18, 2013 Category: Eating Disorders Authors: eatnormalnow Source Type: blogs
The Desire Versus the Act
Disregulated eaters tend to act as
if feelings and behavior are one and the same, or at least as if they’re so intertwined
that they can’t be separated. A line in a mystery I read long ago struck me as
a useful description in distinguishing the two. I hope it helps you recognize the
difference, especially around your eating.
The line came from the protagnist in Lawrence Block’s mystery, EVEN THE WICKED: “There is, I have been
taught, all the difference in the world between the desire and the act. The one
is written on water, the other carved in stone.” The speaker is a recovered
alcoholic, a deeply fl...
Source: Normal Eating - February 15, 2013 Category: Eating Disorders Authors: eatnormalnow Source Type: blogs
The Habit of Not Knowing
One of my clients really nailed her
problem with emotions. “I have no idea what I’m feeling most of the time. It’s
a habit not to know,” she said, as if not being aware of feelings were the most
natural thing in the world. Do you have a habit of avoiding noting or exploring
what’s going on inside you? If so, it’s time get and stay connected.
Emotional health means knowing what
you’re feeling most of the time—when you’re frustrated, anxious, hurt,
disappointed, bored, confused or lonely, plus any other emotions which pay you
a visit. You may not recognize exactly what you’re feeling every sec...
Source: Normal Eating - February 11, 2013 Category: Eating Disorders Authors: eatnormalnow Source Type: blogs
Perfect Eaters, Perfect People--Not!
Disregulated eaters, as we know,
tend to see things in terms of perfect or defective. How many times have you
looked at someone who appears healthy and thought how they must be eating
“right” all the time? How many times have you met people whom you thought had
no flaws and wished to be them or like them? The truth is that there are no perfect
eaters because there are no perfect people.
Because I recognize that people who know of my work may
perceive me as a perfect eater, I’m wary when they ask what I eat or how
often, and evade answering these questions as best I can. I also know that
clients who feel de...
Source: Normal Eating - February 8, 2013 Category: Eating Disorders Authors: eatnormalnow Source Type: blogs
Perfect Eaterrs, Perfect People--Not!
Disregulated eaters, as we know,
tend to see things in terms of perfect or defective. How many times have you
looked at someone who appears healthy and thought how they must be eating
“right” all the time? How many times have you met people whom you thought had
no flaws and wished to be them or like them? The truth is that there are no perfect
eaters because there are no perfect people.
Because I recognize that people who know of my work may
perceive me as a perfect eater, I’m wary when they ask what I eat or how
often, and evade answering these questions as best I can. I also know that
clients who feel ...
Source: Normal Eating - February 8, 2013 Category: Eating Disorders Authors: eatnormalnow Source Type: blogs
Learning to Delay Gratification
Many of you may look around at
friends, family, or perfect strangers and wonder how the dickens they can stop
themselves from overeating or noshing when they’re not hungry. One answer is
that they’ve learned to delay gratification. Although this behavior involves
genetic tendencies, childhood learning is also major behavior-shaper.
Parental modeling and instruction
are strong influences in developing the ability to delay gratification. Did your
parents model waiting for rewards or have difficulty controlling their
impulses? What did they teach you about the benefits of restraint? Moreover,
how did they tea...
Source: Normal Eating - February 4, 2013 Category: Eating Disorders Authors: eatnormalnow Source Type: blogs
Book Reveiw: My Secret Affair with Chocolate Cake
In the interest of full disclosure,
MY SECRET AFFAIR WITH CHOCOLATE CAKE—THE EMOTIONAL EATER’S GUIDE TO BREAKING
FREE by Sunita Pattani, is a book for which I wrote the foreword. Pattani
takes you by the hand and walks you through her journey from emotional eating to “normal”
eating and effective emotional management.
What I find refreshing in MY SECRET
AFFAIR is that Pattani champions the idea of finding her own way through her
eating problems and respects the reader enough to ask her or him to do the
same. Although she doesn’t provide cookie-cutter answers, her deep-seated
belief in our inherent wis...
Source: Normal Eating - February 1, 2013 Category: Eating Disorders Authors: eatnormalnow Source Type: blogs
Threat versus Challenge
While reading an article about
managing life effectively, I was struck by an idea it presented: the confusion people have
recognizing the difference between threats and challenges. This is exactly
where disregulated eaters (and others, as well) often get themselves into
trouble, so I thought a blog would be in order.
Many of you are confused about the
difference between a threat and a challenge. Before I give you my take on the
subject, consider how you would describe the way that “threat” and “challenge”
are different and note whether you often confuse the two. Okay then. A threat is
something that wi...
Source: Normal Eating - January 28, 2013 Category: Eating Disorders Authors: eatnormalnow Source Type: blogs
More on Food as Addictive
The debate about whether or not sugar
and fat are addictive has gone on for decades. When it began and for long
after, the evidence, though inconclusive, leaned toward the negative. Now, according
to Laura Beil in “The snack-food trap” (Newsweek,
11/5/12), consensus may be tipping toward the affirmative. Although there
are strong, credible challenges to the concept of food as addictive, it seems
that “especially in studies of rodents, the brain appears to uniquely draw us
to high-calorie, low-nutrient foods…”
Mark Gold, chairman of psychiatry
at the University of Florida, has done studies which “poi...
Source: Normal Eating - January 25, 2013 Category: Eating Disorders Authors: eatnormalnow Source Type: blogs
Childhood Abuse, Stress, Depression and Anxiety
Many disregulated eaters recognize
that they’re set off by stress and distress more than other people seem to be. A
major reason for hyper-sensitivity is disregulation of brain chemistry due to
childhood abuse or neglect. For those of you who’ve suffered this way, understanding
the cause of your hyper-sensitivity will help you be more compassionate toward
yourself for not always managing your food urges as well as you'd like to.
“Suicidal threads” by Laura Sanders (Science News 11/3/12) explains how childhood
abuse—emotional/physical/sexual—affects the developing brain and is a risk
factor for suici...
Source: Normal Eating - January 21, 2013 Category: Eating Disorders Authors: eatnormalnow Source Type: blogs
Self-reflection versus Self-critique
I had an interesting discussion a
while back with a client about what self-reflection is and isn’t. It makes
sense that if she had questions about it, disregulated eaters in general might
have them too and that the subject would be blog-worthy. Self-reflection is a
critical skill for recovery and emotional growth—but only if you do it correctly.
Basically, the problem arose for a
client who said that every time she tried to reflect upon her actions, her
inner critic grabbed center stage and wouldn’t give it up. She thought,
therefore, that reflection meant evaluating herself as good or bad. For
her, and ...
Source: Normal Eating - January 18, 2013 Category: Eating Disorders Authors: eatnormalnow Source Type: blogs
When You're An Outsider In Your Family
You may think you’re the only one,
but many people don’t think they fit in with their families, feeling as if
they’re on the outside looking in. You may have had this sense since childhood
or developed it later in life as you’ve grown emotionally healthier. Either
way, a sense of not belonging may be disturbing, but it’s normal and even healthy.
When we’re children, our families
are our mainstay of acceptance and nurturance, all we have until we make
friends and find other adults who can care for us. Oddly, clients who feel as
if they’re outsiders with their families believe that there’s somethi...
Source: Normal Eating - January 14, 2013 Category: Eating Disorders Authors: eatnormalnow Source Type: blogs
