Self-reflection versus Self-critique

I had an interesting discussion a while back with a client about what self-reflection is and isn’t. It makes sense that if she had questions about it, disregulated eaters in general might have them too and that the subject would be blog-worthy. Self-reflection is a critical skill for recovery and emotional growth—but only if you do it correctly. Basically, the problem arose for a client who said that every time she tried to reflect upon her actions, her inner critic grabbed center stage and wouldn’t give it up. She thought, therefore, that reflection meant evaluating herself as good or bad. For her, and for many disregulated eaters, assessment almost automatically means coming up short and giving yourself a negative review. This mindset explained why self-reflection was such an onerous process for my client, which is exactly the opposite of what it’s meant to be. Self-reflection is an observational, non-judgmental process, a look in the mental-mirror. First, you observe and acknowledge. It’s not about liking or disliking yourself for what you see, but simply noticing and registering behavior. No self-judgment is required. Second, you decide if you want to change something or not. Again, no pronouncement on your self-worth. All that’s necessary is taking action. For example, you might consider a conversation you had with your sister and observe: she talked a lot and I didn’t say much, I felt angry when she went on and on about her kids, sh...
Source: Normal Eating - Category: Eating Disorders Authors: Source Type: blogs