Food Planning
I had a good laugh with a client, a
perfectly capable, highly competent woman, over her telling me she just couldn’t
plan meals ahead. This happens often when clients insist this task is far too
tough for them. Ha! I don’t believe it for a minute.
When a client says, “But I just
don’t know what I’ll want for lunch” or “I’m so tired after work, I simply don’t
care what I eat” or “It’s too much trouble to plan food ahead,” I know that something
else is amiss. My usual rejoinder is, “Your career is challenging” or “Having a
job like yours and taking care of three kids is a lot of wo...
Source: Normal Eating - June 17, 2013 Category: Eating Disorders Authors: eatnormalnow Source Type: blogs
Do We Need More Mindlessness?
I know I’m bucking the trend here,
but hundreds of conversations with clients have convinced me that there is an
often missed correlation between mindfulness
around food and mindlessness in the
rest of the lives of disregulated eaters. From my perspective, many of them
would benefit greatly from being more mindless in life so that they can become
more mindful around food. Here’s why.
As I wrote in Nice Girls Finish Fat (whose ideas also apply to “nice” men), your
typical disregulated eater—at least those I’ve come across in my 30 years in
the field—is no goof off who wants only to party, play, take...
Source: Normal Eating - June 14, 2013 Category: Eating Disorders Authors: eatnormalnow Source Type: blogs
Happiness and Disregulated Eaters
Disregulated eaters tend to think
they’ll be happy when this or that happens—when they find a life partner,
become “normal” eaters, lose weight, land the perfect job, can slow down, or
retire. But will these occurrences really bring happiness? And, if not, what
will?
According to Sonja Lyubomirsky,
psychology professor at the University of California-Riverside and author of
THE MYTHS OF HAPPINESS, “These things—marriage, family, wealth—do make people
happy, but the effect is often not as long-lasting as people expect. And when
the ‘thrill’ wears off and life gets back to everyday experiences, w...
Source: Normal Eating - June 10, 2013 Category: Eating Disorders Authors: eatnormalnow Source Type: blogs
Motivation for Self-care
Because most of you are searching
for ways to become and stay motivated when it comes to eating, exercise and
self-care, it’s important to understand what motivates people, in general, and
you, in particular. Moreover, it’s crucial to recognize ways you’ve been trying
to motivate yourself that have been proven not to work long term, such as
focusing on weight loss and approval-seeking. What works? Read on.
The following theories and tips
come from an interview (Talk of the
Nation,
The Art and Science of Motivation, NPR) with two experts on motivation:
Steven Reis, author of WHO AM I—THE 16 BASIC DESIRES...
Source: Normal Eating - June 7, 2013 Category: Eating Disorders Authors: eatnormalnow Source Type: blogs
Saying No in Non-food Areas
A client told me that she’d just
been put on medication on which she couldn’t drink alcohol or would suffer serious
side effects. Although she usually had a glass of wine at night to unwind, she
said it was no big deal giving it up because the medication would make her feel
better and she didn’t want to cause herself harm by drinking. Sighing, she said
she only wished she could say no to food as easily.
She went on to wonder how the
alcohol decision felt like such a no-brainer, yet the idea of giving up certain
foods made her feel deprived and resentful. I pointed out that other people
might feel exactly...
Source: Normal Eating - June 3, 2013 Category: Eating Disorders Authors: eatnormalnow Source Type: blogs
Developing a Mindfulness Practice
There’s no better way to detach
from unwanted thoughts and feelings than by using the practice of mindfulness.
I recently watched a 12-minute YouTube video, Befriending
Your Mind, Befriending Your Life by Jon Kabat-Zinn, that nicely sums up the
essence and uses of mindfulness. I also recommend two of Kabat-Zinn’s books, WHEREVER
YOU GO, THERE YOU ARE and FULL CATASTROPHE LIVING—USING THE WISDOM OF YOUR BODY
AND MIND TO FACE STRESS, PAIN, AND ILLNESS.
Here’s my major take-away message
from Kabat-Zinn’s video: mindfulness is
a practice. As he says, we usually think of a practice as a rehearsal for a ...
Source: Normal Eating - May 31, 2013 Category: Eating Disorders Authors: eatnormalnow Source Type: blogs
A Reminder of Why Diets Don't Work
Although many disregulated eaters
know that diets don’t work long-term, when they get frustrated that “normal”
eating isn’t producing the weight loss they desire, they consider—and sometimes
return to—dieting. So for those of you teeter-tottering on the brink, here’s
more proof that restricting calories will hurt, not help, you.
In “Why crash diets call for some
caution” (Sarasota Herald-Tribune,
3/26/14) Gabriella Boston gives prime time to several experts on the subject. Nutritionist
Rebecca Mohning advises that “If you go on, say a 900-calorie-a-day diet, you
will have a hard time gettin...
Source: Normal Eating - May 27, 2013 Category: Eating Disorders Authors: eatnormalnow Source Type: blogs
Feeling versus Thinking Around Food
It’s sadly ironic that many
disregulated eaters make decisions backwards. On the one hand, they overthink
things—called intellectualization or rationalization—when they’d be better off
tuning into their emotions and acting on what they feel. On the other, they
mistakenly make choices based on what they feel rather than employing higher order thinking to decide what’s best for them. Time to turn that around,
huh?
Here’s an example of ignoring emotions
and, instead, rationalizing. Say, you’re dining with old friends and find
yourself eating way more than usual. Feeling bored, you realize that you don...
Source: Normal Eating - May 24, 2013 Category: Eating Disorders Authors: eatnormalnow Source Type: blogs
Weighing the Facts About Eating and Weight
Conclusion: “Small changes in calorie
intake or calorie-burning do not build up over a long period of time to effect
large changes. In fact, individual body mass changes alter the body’s calorie
requirements”; Challenge: “Small changes do lead to some gains, but you
have to keep adding new changes to see further gains.”
Conclusion: Compared to realistic weight
goals, “more ambitions goals sometimes produce better results”; Challenge:
“Ambitious goals may result in greater losses, but, in turn, they result in
quicker and larger regain.”
Conclusion: “Studies show larger initial
weight loss...
Source: Normal Eating - May 20, 2013 Category: Eating Disorders Authors: eatnormalnow Source Type: blogs
How to Tolerate Emotional Discomfort
Clients and members of my Food and Feelings message
board often insist that they can’t allow themselves to feel uncomfortable
emotions. For disregulated eaters trying to make peace with food and their
bodies, this is a big problem because emotions are important to identify, and
experiencing them is necessary to life and “normal” eating.
There’s a common set of emotions
that can be difficult for disregulated eaters, in particular the seven described
in my FOOD AND FEELINGS WORKBOOK—anxiety, confusion, disappointment, loneliness,
guilt, shame, and helplessness. By learning to experience and handle thes...
Source: Normal Eating - May 17, 2013 Category: Eating Disorders Authors: eatnormalnow Source Type: blogs
Misinterpretations That Drive Unwanted Eating
Too many disregulated eaters have
low regard for themselves and, therefore, don’t take care of themselves as if
they’re deserving of high-quality self care. For those of you who think you’re defective
and aren’t worth eating healthfully, here’s another take on the subject and how
you might have mistakenly come to think about things incorrectly.
Take this scenario. As a young
child, let’s say your mother or father or both frequently criticized you, raged
at you out of the blue over petty concerns, and treated you as if your needs
were wrong or didn’t matter. In your child’s limited brain, you ass...
Source: Normal Eating - May 13, 2013 Category: Eating Disorders Authors: eatnormalnow Source Type: blogs
Wisdom and Weight
Being comfortable with your body at
any size comes from practicing wisdom. And what’s that? Wisdom is a combination
of discernment, valuing self, and utilizing cognitive skills—not your emotions—for
problem-solving. Anyone can be wise.
Based on studies, experts tell us
repeatedly that good health, not weight loss, is the most effective goal for
achieving and maintaining healthy eating practices for life. Every single moment you think about shedding pounds takes you
farther away from wisdom—and reaching eating goals. Though it’s true that when
we eat well, we can't see our bodies growing healthier, we s...
Source: Normal Eating - May 9, 2013 Category: Eating Disorders Authors: eatnormalnow Source Type: blogs
More on Weight, Disease and Longevity
The controversy over whether higher
weight leads to increased disease and mortality is as confusing as the one over
whether sugar is addictive or not. First we hear that obesity leads to poor
health and premature death, then we hear that it doesn’t. All we can do is stay informed
and pay attention to the results of reputable research studies. I offer the
following information not to take sides in the debate, but in the hopes that
you’ll take it in with self-compassion and use it to motivate yourself to become
healthier.
According to an article in the 3/13
Nutrition Action Health Letter,
“Weighing the o...
Source: Normal Eating - May 6, 2013 Category: Eating Disorders Authors: eatnormalnow Source Type: blogs
What Not to Say When You Have a Non-hunger Eating Urge
The brain is an amazing organ, but it’s
not as clever or evolved as we think it is. For instance, we may think we’re
telling it to do one thing, while it hears our instruction as just the
opposite. Not great when you’re trying to avoid unwanted eating. Here’s a
common mistake—and its fix—for handing unwelcome food urges.
I bet that when you want to deter
yourself from heading for the drive-through on the way home from work or
getting up from working at the computer to check out what’s in your kitchen cabinets (for
the umpteenth time), you’re probably telling yourself something like, “I can’t...
Source: Normal Eating - May 3, 2013 Category: Eating Disorders Authors: eatnormalnow Source Type: blogs
Labeling Your Eating Problem Correctly
A client recently had a eureka
moment when she realized that she didn’t have an eating problem per se, but a
psycho-emotional one that was driving her food abuse. She felt tremendous
relief in identifying her actual, underlying problem which pointed the way
toward more helpful solutions. Here are some possible problems you might have.
Most disregulated eaters have high anxiety and
use food to self-soothe. Eating is a symptom, not a root cause. Discussing
their history, they recognize that family members also have anxiety issues
which manifested in drinking, rigidity, a need to control, anger,
perfectioni...
Source: Normal Eating - April 29, 2013 Category: Eating Disorders Authors: eatnormalnow Source Type: blogs
