How to Tolerate Emotional Discomfort
Clients and members of my Food and Feelings message
board often insist that they can’t allow themselves to feel uncomfortable
emotions. For disregulated eaters trying to make peace with food and their
bodies, this is a big problem because emotions are important to identify, and
experiencing them is necessary to life and “normal” eating.
There’s a common set of emotions
that can be difficult for disregulated eaters, in particular the seven described
in my FOOD AND FEELINGS WORKBOOK—anxiety, confusion, disappointment, loneliness,
guilt, shame, and helplessness. By learning to experience and handle these
feelings, you’ll be well on your way toward emotional health which will reduce your tendency to abuse food and your body. There is no route
around experiencing distressing feelings and no secret, easy way to manage them. As
Geneen Roth says, “The only way out is through.”
First off, stop telling yourself
that you “can’t stand” a feeling because that programs your brain to—guess
what!—not be able to stand it. Instead, keep repeating that you can manage whatever you’re feeling even
if you don’t believe it. That is the way the healthy, adult part of your brain
teaches the scared, childlike part of it to take care of yourself. Feeling
emotions is definitely a way to care
for yourself even if it hurts in the moment. Would you tell a seriously ill
child he doesn’t have to take medicine that tastes bad or would you sit by his
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Source: Normal Eating - Category: Eating Disorders Authors: eatnormalnow Source Type: blogs
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