The Habit of Not Knowing

One of my clients really nailed her problem with emotions. “I have no idea what I’m feeling most of the time. It’s a habit not to know,” she said, as if not being aware of feelings were the most natural thing in the world. Do you have a habit of avoiding noting or exploring what’s going on inside you? If so, it’s time get and stay connected. Emotional health means knowing what you’re feeling most of the time—when you’re frustrated, anxious, hurt, disappointed, bored, confused or lonely, plus any other emotions which pay you a visit. You may not recognize exactly what you’re feeling every second of every day, but you want to keep a running connection to your affective world. Sure, sometimes you’ll miss what you’re feeling in the moment and need to wait a bit to figure it out. The point is to value emotions enough to want to know.  You may be like many of my clients who fear emotions because you feel pressured to do something with or about them. But, think, do you feel a need to do something with every thought that flits through your mind? Do you think, I believe it’s healthy to eat apples and rush off to munch on one or My old couch is looking ratty and drop what you’re doing to run out and buy one? I hope not. You don’t have to act on emotions either. You can simply notice them. One of the most valuable lessons therapists learn in training is to pay exquisite attention to their feelings. We’re taught to check in with our...
Source: Normal Eating - Category: Eating Disorders Authors: Source Type: blogs