The fun ships
In a court filing concerning the Carnival Triumph's "cruise-o-sewage" last February, the cruise line's lawyers stated that a cruise ticket "makes absolutely no guarantee for safe passage, a seaworthy vessel, adequate and wholesome food, and sanitary and safe living conditions."Thanks for clearing that up Carnival. I'll keep it in mind when planning next summer's vacation.Source. (Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House)
Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House - December 17, 2013 Category: Neurologists Authors: Grumpy, M.D. Source Type: blogs
On call, Sunday morning, 2:18 a.m.
Dr. Grumpy: "This is Dr. Grumpy, returning a page."Dr. ER: "Hi, Ibee. It's Susan, over in emergency. I need your help."Dr. Grumpy: "What's up?"Dr. ER: "I have a 20-something guy here, who a few hours ago abruptly became paralyzed from the waist down, with severe lumbar pain. He can't move his legs at all. I sent him for a STAT MRI, which was normal, and..."Dr. Grumpy: "Does he have reflexes?"Dr. ER: "Yeah, and sensation is good, too. But he can't move either..."(yelling, screaming, swearing in background)(pause)Dr. ER: "Ibee, are you still there?"Dr. Grumpy: "Yeah. What was all that noise?"Dr. ER: "Never mind... When we re...
Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House - December 16, 2013 Category: Neurologists Authors: Grumpy, M.D. Source Type: blogs
Dude, remember to turn off your microphone
(Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House)
Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House - December 16, 2013 Category: Neurologists Authors: Grumpy, M.D. Source Type: blogs
Dr. Grumpy's gift guide
You're a medical student on a gastroenterology rotation, watching a colonoscopy. As the camera snakes up some guy's nether regions, the attending suddenly points to the monitor, turns to you, and says "does that look normal?"Of course, you have no f.ing clue (neither did I, but there are reasons I'm a neurologist). So what do you do? Well, now you can just quickly check your iPhone!These attractive iPhone cases come in a wide variety of pathology (normal is above) including inflammation, diverticulitis, malignant, pre-malignant, Crohn's disease, and many more! With this helpful guide, your biggest issue will be finding a w...
Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House - December 14, 2013 Category: Neurologists Authors: Grumpy, M.D. Source Type: blogs
Dr. Grumpy's gift guide
Love cupcakes? Who doesn't? (okay, I'm not fond of them, but am in the minority).What could make a cupcake even more appetizing than it already is? More frosting? Sprinkles? Realistic sores from sexually-transmitted diseases?Mmmmm... chancres.These delectable "clapcakes" are available in Gonorrhea, Syphilis, Herpes, and, um, a handful of other reasons to use condoms.Bon Appetit! (Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House)
Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House - December 13, 2013 Category: Neurologists Authors: Grumpy, M.D. Source Type: blogs
Mary's desk, December, 2013
Mary: "Dr. Grumpy's office, this is Mary."Dr. Manding: "Hi, this is Dr. Dee Manding, and I need Dr. Grumpy to order a STAT brain MRI on me."Mary: "Hang on... I'm not seeing you in our system. Are you a patient?"Dr. Manding: "No, I'm a doctor. I just moved here. And I need an urgent MRI. They won't let me order it myself, so I need your doctor to do it."Mary: "Okay, I can run this by him, but if you're not an established patient we can't order tests on you."Dr. Manding: "I can't believe this. I'm a doctor!"Mary: "What do you need the MRI for? I can check with him and..."Dr. Manding: "How DARE you ask me that! I'm a doctor! ...
Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House - December 12, 2013 Category: Neurologists Authors: Grumpy, M.D. Source Type: blogs
Dr. Grumpy's gift guide
Going to Nazi-themed dinner parties can be so awkward. The silverware is always a problem, as I never remember if I can mix Abwehr forks with Wehrmacht spoons, or if I'm supposed to butter pumpernickel with my Kriegsmarine or Luftwaffe knife.I'm sure all of us encounter this problem regularly, and my fears of causing a serious breach of etiquette used to keep me from going.But no more!With this useful guide YOU VILL know which Gestapo fork is for eating strudel, what type of spoon to use for stirring kaffee, and the proper knife for cutting schnitzel.Or else. (Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House)
Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House - December 11, 2013 Category: Neurologists Authors: Grumpy, M.D. Source Type: blogs
Come on, baby, light my fire
Annie: "Dr. Grumpy's office, this is Annie."Mr. McGee: "Hi, my wife saw Dr. Grumpy about a month ago, and he started her on a new medication."Annie: "Okay, let me look at the chart... Looks like it was Lotsix."Mr. McGee: "Yeah, that's it. Anyway, she's been much more confused since starting this, and I'd like to stop it if we can."Annie: "What's she been doing?"Mr. McGee: "Well, she's obsessively setting things on fire, and..."Annie: "Uh, did you just say she's setting things on fire?"Mr. McGee: "Yes, all the time. Clothes, walls, furniture, at least 2 or 3 times a day I catch her trying to light something. I've gotten rid...
Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House - December 10, 2013 Category: Neurologists Authors: Grumpy, M.D. Source Type: blogs
Dr. Grumpy's gift guide
You've perfected your sexy pole-dancing moves, but none of your local strip bars are currently hiring. What's a girl to do? You have to earn a living.Now, for only $499, you can take your show on the road with the trailer-hitch dancing pole! No smoky bar needed! Pull up to a skanky street corner and start the show!The stage supports up to 200 lbs. Dollar bill storage box and stereo & light systems not included. (Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House)
Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House - December 9, 2013 Category: Neurologists Authors: Grumpy, M.D. Source Type: blogs
Dr. Grumpy's Gift Guide
Regrettably, these fine outfits aren't as easily available as they were in the 1970's. But I'm featuring them anyway, as a throwback to how REAL men used to dress, before the most important thing was whether or not you had an iPhone pocket.I wonder if the hats were included. (Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House)
Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House - December 7, 2013 Category: Neurologists Authors: Grumpy, M.D. Source Type: blogs
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Dr. Grumpy: "Any triggers to your headaches?"Mr. Coriolis: "They only occur when the barometric pressure drops."Dr. Grumpy: "And what medications..."Mr. Coriolis: "See, I began tracking barometric pressure with an iPhone app, comparing it to my headache diary" (takes out a notebook) "and here are some graphs I made up. I downloaded the barometric pressures of cities I've been in going back 38 years, to when I was born, and then I graphed them against..." (Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House)
Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House - December 6, 2013 Category: Neurologists Authors: Grumpy, M.D. Source Type: blogs
Dr. Grumpy's gift guide
How many times a day do you find yourself wondering "Gee, how many eggs do I have at home?" 5? 10? 78?If you're like me, you really don't care. But, if this a subject of serious importance to you, it creates a real dilemma. I mean, if you're at the store, you can always hedge your bets and buy more eggs, but what if you get home and find you already have some? Then you have more eggs than you need, taking up space you could be chilling Diet Coke in.By the same token, you can NOT buy them, then get home and find you're out. And now your plans to serve cheese omelets at the formal dinner party are in disarray.Sure, you...
Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House - December 5, 2013 Category: Neurologists Authors: Grumpy, M.D. Source Type: blogs
Paging Dr. Yossarian
Yesterday I received this fax from a pharmacy company. As best I understand it, they don't authorize the drug involved... So to get it covered I need to call... (Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House)
Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House - December 4, 2013 Category: Neurologists Authors: Grumpy, M.D. Source Type: blogs
The telltale cup
Rick was my resident for a month during internship. He was notoriously lazy. The last to arrive for a code, the first to leave after call, and never seeming to be around when you needed him.He wasn't the kind of lazy who intentionally dumped work on others. He didn't see why anyone had to do it, and encouraged me and the other intern, Karen, not to do things either. As a result Karen and I spent a few days getting reamed out by attendings until we figured out NOT to follow Rick's instructions on ignoring labs, med sheets, exam findings, etc.Rick, as these people always are, didn't feel he was the problem.Anyway, one day my...
Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House - December 3, 2013 Category: Neurologists Authors: Grumpy, M.D. Source Type: blogs
Dr. Grumpy's gift guide
As the Earth continues its trip around the sun, the holidays are again approaching. And with them, of course, the annual Dr. Grumpy Gift Guide!I'd like to kick things off this year with something truly meaningful, special, and unique.Chocolates have long been a way of telling that special person how you truly feel. Sometimes, of course, we encounter someone who's special in an entirely different way. When this happens we wonder "What can I give this person to convey my true feelings to them?"The answer, of course, is this: A chocolate asshole!Yes, the folks at Edible Anus purvey the finest in anally-shaped candies, using o...
Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House - December 2, 2013 Category: Neurologists Authors: Grumpy, M.D. Source Type: blogs
