Mary's desk
Mary: "Dr. Grumpy's office, this is Mary."Mrs. Flush: "Hi, I have an appointment in 20 minutes with Dr. Grumpy, and won't be able to make it. My kid clogged the toilet, and it's backed up all over the floor. I have to stay here and wait for the emergency plumber."Mary: "Okay, that's fine. Just call us when you have time to reschedule and..."Mrs. Flush: "I will. Are you going to charge me for the last minute cancel? I can text you a picture if you need proof." (Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House)
Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House - January 29, 2014 Category: Neurologists Authors: Grumpy, M.D. Source Type: blogs
Seen in a hospital chart
Helluva long week. (Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House)
Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House - January 28, 2014 Category: Neurologists Authors: Grumpy, M.D. Source Type: blogs
2014
What's that? The Northern Lights? Nope.It's obviously the night sky... and it is. With a single pale dot. You can see it if you look closely. It's roughly halfway down the ray of sunlight on the right.It's not much. In our era of 10 megapixel cameras the dot is tiny. It's only 0.12 pixels, in fact.And... that's us. That miniscule dot is planet Earth, seen from 3.7 billion miles (6 billion kilometers) away. Voyager 1 took the picture in 1990, looking backwards during its ongoing journey out of our solar system."From this distant vantage point, the Earth might not seem of any particular interest. But for us, it's different....
Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House - January 1, 2014 Category: Neurologists Authors: Grumpy, M.D. Source Type: blogs
Boxing Day sales
Mrs. Grumpy bought a new vacuum at a post-Christmas sale. And, I must say, I think they nailed us.Anyway, I'm signing off for a week to spend quality time with the kids, dog, and likely vacuum. We're mercifully going to get away from the snow for a few days, too, and visit relatives. I have one scheduled post for New Year's Day, but otherwise things will be quiet here until January 6, 2014.Happy new year to all! (Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House)
Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House - December 29, 2013 Category: Neurologists Authors: Grumpy, M.D. Source Type: blogs
Breaking medical research!!!
Apparently from "The Journal of No Shit, Sherlock." (Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House)
Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House - December 27, 2013 Category: Neurologists Authors: Grumpy, M.D. Source Type: blogs
Christmas day, 2:10 p.m.
Dr. Grumpy: "This is Dr. Grumpy, returning a page."Mr. Dickens: "Hi, I need you to call in some Imitrex for my sister."Dr. Grumpy: "What's her name?"Mr. Dickens: "Martha Cratchit."Dr. Grumpy (grabs iPad): "Hang on... She's not in my system..."Mr. Dickens: "Well, she sees a neurologist in Grumpyville. Aren't you guys all connected?"Dr. Grumpy: "No. You'll need to call her neurologist."Mr. Dickens: "I don't know who that is. Can't you help me out? It's her Christmas present."Dr. Grumpy: "Imitrex? Is this a prank call?"Mr. Dickens: "NO! My sister takes it for her migraines, and I thought I'd get her some."Dr. Grumpy: "Okay, b...
Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House - December 26, 2013 Category: Neurologists Authors: Grumpy, M.D. Source Type: blogs
December 25, 1914
Trench warfare is nothing new, but in World War I it became the standard. The Western Front was a seemingly endless series of ditches inhabited by young men ordered to kill each other.The British Empire, France, and (later in the war) America faced off against the Germans, with a few hundred yards of No-Man's Land between them. For most of the tragedy of WWI it was a stalemate. Each side would shoot at the other, or throw grenades, but to leave your trench for an exposed position was almost certain death.Winter made the trenches even worse. Men were exposed to the elements. The ground was too frozen to dig easily. Snow wou...
Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House - December 25, 2013 Category: Neurologists Authors: Grumpy, M.D. Source Type: blogs
Winter vacation ditziness
I walk in the TV room to find Marie on the couch with Mello, surrounded by bags of chips and some sodas. She's watching Toy Story 3.Dr. Grumpy: "Marie, do you know who does the voice of Barbie?"Marie: "No."Dr. Grumpy: "The same lady who did the voice of Princess Ariel."Marie: "Really? They don't look alike." (Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House)
Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House - December 24, 2013 Category: Neurologists Authors: Grumpy, M.D. Source Type: blogs
Dr. Grumpy's gift guide
Today wraps up the 2013 guide. Thank you to all who sent ideas, and keep them coming! I'll be doing this again next year, and they'll be featured then."Patella" is such a great word. I mean, nothing about the sound of it would ever make you think it's just a kneecap.Better yet is Patella Brothers. Unlike Mario Brothers, these guys design some interesting housewares, including dinner plates.Want to freak your guests out? Why not serve them on a plate with bugs on it?"Waiter, there's a bug in my ceramic."This next one features a rock, nails, and a dead roach stuck in goo! Doesn't that help your diet?"Honey, next time the Gru...
Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House - December 23, 2013 Category: Neurologists Authors: Grumpy, M.D. Source Type: blogs
Best used car ad EVER
Sooner or later, I'm going to have to unload my 2000 Maxima. When I do, I'm pretty sure I won't be nearly as creative as this guy, who sold his 1996 one with this ad.Original story.Thank you, Don! (Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House)
Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House - December 23, 2013 Category: Neurologists Authors: Grumpy, M.D. Source Type: blogs
Dr. Grumpy's gift guide
Doesn't your dog deserve something nice this year, like clean and shiny fur?I can't vouch for the quality of this brand, but I must say they have an, um, interesting name for their line of pet-hair-care products. The kind that will make snooping dinner guests call the ASPCA when they see it in your medicine cabinet."Oooh... They even have one called 'Dirty Talk' and another named 'Quickie.' " (Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House)
Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House - December 20, 2013 Category: Neurologists Authors: Grumpy, M.D. Source Type: blogs
Dr. Grumpy's gift guide
Guys are terrible at thinking of gifts. I know I am. You just never know what to get your special someone, something that says it all.But now there's an easy answer: coated globs of moose shit! These lovely accessories are available in earrings, necklaces, cufflinks, and a wide variety of forms. No moose were harmed in the manufacturing process, though I suspect some intestinal bacteria didn't fare as well. (Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House)
Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House - December 19, 2013 Category: Neurologists Authors: Grumpy, M.D. Source Type: blogs
Commodity trading
Here in the U.S., and pretty much ALL of the civilized world, money is still the standard method of financial transactions. Barter is generally not accepted. Especially when it involves a large, potentially dangerous, carnivore instead of currency.Apparently, though, Mr. Fernando Aguilera of Florida hadn't heard of this. Thirsty, wanting a beer, and having no money, he decided to catch a live ALLIGATOR (a 4 foot long juvenile), carry it into a liquor store, and offer to trade it for a 12-pack. Being a gentleman, Mr. Aguilar was willing to take any brand they'd give him.The owner of the store not only declined Mr. Aguilar's...
Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House - December 19, 2013 Category: Neurologists Authors: Grumpy, M.D. Source Type: blogs
Holiday memories
Back where I trained, he ran one of the country's top neurosurgery residencies. Before his retirement he was widely considered one of the best brain surgeons in the world, and people came from all over the planet to see him.His position, and skill, brought him enormous financial rewards. Because of the size of his house he threw a large Christmas party every year to which all the neurology and neurosurgery people were invited, including peons like me and the other neurology residents.He was also socially inept, and entertainment was never his thing. Obligated to host the party, he firmly planted himself by the door, greeti...
Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House - December 18, 2013 Category: Neurologists Authors: Grumpy, M.D. Source Type: blogs
Dr. Grumpy's gift guide
Ladies, how often have you wanted to pee standing up? Well, now you can!Yes, with the GoGirl funnel you can whiz without having to touch that disgusting thing on the toilet seat. It's ideal for camping, road trips, and bypassing that long line at the ladies room. Simply walk up to a mens room urinal (there's always one open) and strut your stuff!The Go-Girl is available in lavender and camouflage colors. And has the awesome tagline "Don't take life sitting down." (Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House)
Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House - December 17, 2013 Category: Neurologists Authors: Grumpy, M.D. Source Type: blogs
