Glad they cleared that up
Last night I was at a meeting about an upcoming drug study, and this was one of the slides:I wanted to ask what they consider REALLY serious. (Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House)
Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House - July 29, 2014 Category: Neurologists Authors: Grumpy, M.D. Source Type: blogs
Words
On call yesterday I was in ER, examining a lady who'd just had a seizure. From the other side of the curtain I hear this:Her: "Did you cover it? I don't want to catch diseases."Him: "Yes. Now I'm going to put it in."Her: "Please be gentle. I'm very sensitive there."Him: "Of course."Her: "Is it in yet?"Him: "Just a little bit, I need to put it in further."Her: "Ow! Don't push so hard!"Him: "Sorry... It's in now."Her: "I can feel it."Him: "And... I'm done. I pulled it out. That wasn't so bad, was it?"Her: "Only when you first put it in, but it went fast."And it was... A male nurse checking a tympanic temperature on an elderl...
Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House - July 28, 2014 Category: Neurologists Authors: Grumpy, M.D. Source Type: blogs
Sigh
Mrs. Seven: "I also take Spazon-XR."Dr. Grumpy (looking at her list): "You take that just once a week?"Mrs. Seven: "No, it's every Saturday." (Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House)
Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House - July 25, 2014 Category: Neurologists Authors: Grumpy, M.D. Source Type: blogs
Looking for clues
Mr. Construction: "My hands have been getting numb over the last few years."Dr. Grumpy: "Any change in your activities in that time?"Mr. Construction: "Nope. Same old boring job."Dr. Grumpy: "Is there..."Mr. Construction: "I hope you can figure this out, doc. It makes it hard to hold a jackhammer all day." (Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House)
Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House - July 24, 2014 Category: Neurologists Authors: Grumpy, M.D. Source Type: blogs
On the road again
(Guy walks in, stands at counter)Mary: "Hi, can I help you?"Mr. Distance: "I was referred to see Dr. Grumpy." (pulls out piece of paper, hands it to her)Mary: "Okay, I can make an appointment for you. How about..."Mr. Distance: "You mean you can't see me NOW?"Mary: "No, today is full, but on Tuesday we have..."Mr. Distance: "But I just drove over 200 miles to get here! You can see from the referral that I live in Waywest!"Mary: "I'm sorry, but..."Mr. Distance: "I saw Dr. Referral this morning, and she said that I should see Dr. Grumpy. So I decided to just come on over."Mary: "Why didn't you call for an appointment?"Mr. Di...
Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House - July 23, 2014 Category: Neurologists Authors: Grumpy, M.D. Source Type: blogs
Look Who's Laughing
Are you a patient somewhere? Of course. We all are.I have news for you: Your doctors, nurses, dentists, and pretty much anyone you've encountered in health care... Have laughed at you behind your back.Even if you don't think there's anything about your case, or personality, or clothes, or pretty much anything to make fun of, they probably had some shared giggle about you.Offended? Sorry. Humor is a human behavior, and in medicine it's used to release stress in the course of a difficult and demanding job. Laughing at a patient doesn't mean we don't care, or think less of you, or don't like you. It is, often, the only way we...
Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House - July 22, 2014 Category: Neurologists Authors: Grumpy, M.D. Source Type: blogs
Clarification
I'm not sure what these guys want. Can anyone out there help me? They're pretty vague.Thank you, Nos! (Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House)
Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House - July 21, 2014 Category: Neurologists Authors: Grumpy, M.D. Source Type: blogs
Hey, it's all your insurance will cover
Great medical ads:Thank you, Jillian! (Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House)
Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House - July 19, 2014 Category: Neurologists Authors: Grumpy, M.D. Source Type: blogs
Thursday afternoon
Dr. Grumpy: "Are you allergic to anything?"Mr. Anaerobe: "Chlorophyll, and all other oxygen producing substances." (Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House)
Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House - July 18, 2014 Category: Neurologists Authors: Grumpy, M.D. Source Type: blogs
Kissing up
About a month ago I had a pre-med student spend an afternoon with me. Actually, it wasn't even that. After 2 hours she looked liked she was bored out of her mind (I'd warned her about that, but she still wanted to come in) and left at 3:00, saying she was meeting a friend for lunch. Anyway, I didn't hear from her again until yesterday, when this neatly typed note showed up in the mail:Dear Dr. Grumpy,Thank you for taking the time and allowing me to shadow you last month. I understand that having me there required a tremendous amount of time and effort, and I genuinely appreciate your support. My time with you was an unpar...
Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House - July 16, 2014 Category: Neurologists Authors: Grumpy, M.D. Source Type: blogs
My staff is awesome
Mary: "Dr. Grumpy's office, this is Mary."Mrs. Memory: "Hi, I need to come back and see Dr. Grumpy."Mary: "Um... Actually, you have an appointment today, at 1:45."Mrs. Memory: "No I don't."Mary: "You do, ma'am."Mrs. Memory: "I most certainly do not. Otherwise I wouldn't be calling you. Now, as I was saying, I need to see Dr. Grumpy again."Mary: "Okay, well, if you'd like to come in today we have an opening at 1:45?"Mrs. Memory: "Oh, that works perfectly. I'll be there."Mary: "Great! See you then."Mrs. Memory: "Thank you for getting me in so quickly." (Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House)
Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House - July 15, 2014 Category: Neurologists Authors: Grumpy, M.D. Source Type: blogs
Dear Azilect,
Recently, one of my patients applied to your Azilect assistance program, to help those unable to afford a prescription for it.She filled out the papers, got them together with her Azilect prescription and financial info, and I signed the forms and put them in the mail.So, I was somewhat puzzled when she brought in this letter last week:What's up with this? I mean, if the Azilect Patient Assistance Program DOESN'T provide Azilect, what do they provide? Oven mitts?For future clarification you should consider renaming the program "Non-Assistance" or "No-Azilect Program."Or, simply have it supply Azilect in the first place.You...
Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House - July 14, 2014 Category: Neurologists Authors: Grumpy, M.D. Source Type: blogs
From the slushpile
Okay, it's time to hit the mailbag for more examples of artisan/artisanal junk you guys have sent in.Again, this is not to make fun of tradesman who are genuinely working on handmade artisanal products. This is to highlight, as I have before, the many bullshit uses of the word being slapped on pretty much anything that's mass-produced, or grown (if it grows on a tree, you didn't make it), or other abuses of the word.First, we have this:I mean, it's SEAWEED for crap's sake. It grows in the ocean and washes up on the beach, making a rotten, smelly, mess. How is that artisanal?What else is artisanal these days? Maybe somethin...
Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House - July 13, 2014 Category: Neurologists Authors: Grumpy, M.D. Source Type: blogs
Nigel? Is that you?
Back when my kids were younger, they loved the Toy Story stuff. Including the Evil Emperor Zurg:So, it's no surprise that Frank had to have the Zurg Blaster gun, which fired green ping-pong balls.Anyway, they're beyond that now, so recently we were getting together some old toys to donate to charity. On the side of the Zurg Blaster, I noticed this:How awesome is that?If you don't get it... I feel sorry for you. (Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House)
Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House - July 11, 2014 Category: Neurologists Authors: Grumpy, M.D. Source Type: blogs
Nitrogen, CO2, you name it.
Dr. Grumpy: "Let me get an MRI form... Are you claustrophobic?"Mr. Lung: "No, but I need to breathe during the test. There's air and oxygen and all for me in there, right?" (Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House)
Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House - July 10, 2014 Category: Neurologists Authors: Grumpy, M.D. Source Type: blogs
