Texting by voice
Marie's Wingnut School girls basketball team had their first win of the season yesterday, and Mrs. Grumpy sent me the results. So I was trying to get Siri to text "Yay!" back. (Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House)
Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House - March 11, 2014 Category: Neurologists Authors: Grumpy, M.D. Source Type: blogs
Yes, we are
Mary: "Dr. Grumpy's office, this is Mary."Mrs. Chart: "Hi, I have an appointment next week, and I need you guys to get my records before then."Mary: "Okay, but we can't get your records from other places. You need to contact them, and fax a release."Mrs. Chart: "I've seen 3 other neurologists, and been admitted to 2 hospitals for my problems. I'd think you'd want to have their notes."Mary: "Yes, the doctor would, but again, you'll need to contact them and have them send records. We can't get them without a release. You can come in here and sign one, or I can fax one to you."Mrs. Chart: "I don't have time for that. I'm busy...
Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House - March 10, 2014 Category: Neurologists Authors: Grumpy, M.D. Source Type: blogs
Thursday afternoon
Dr. Grumpy: "How long have you been taking Fukitol?"Mr. Vague: "Um, since I started it." (Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House)
Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House - March 7, 2014 Category: Neurologists Authors: Grumpy, M.D. Source Type: blogs
50 Shades of Neurology
Seen in a hospital chart:Nudge, nudge, wink, wink, say no more! (Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House)
Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House - March 6, 2014 Category: Neurologists Authors: Grumpy, M.D. Source Type: blogs
We deliver
I needed to mail a chart to another office, which, for whatever reason, doesn't have a working fax this week. So on the way home yesterday I stopped at the post office.Postal clerk: "That will be $5.21... Thank you. Where are you mailing this to, sir?"Dr. Grumpy: "Lakeside Grumpyville, about 5 miles north of here, near Main & 28th street."Postal clerk: "Under security precautions a package of this size cannot be put on a plane, so it will have to go by ground delivery with consequent delay. Will that be ok?"Dr. Grumpy: "Um, yeah." (Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House)
Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House - March 5, 2014 Category: Neurologists Authors: Grumpy, M.D. Source Type: blogs
Memories...
The university where I went to medical school had a large indoor gym. All students were allowed to use it, but you had to show a student ID to get in. This is pretty standard.What wasn't standard was Weather Guy.To this day I don't know what his name was. He never wore a name tag. He was a pleasant, elderly fellow whose sole job was to sit there and check ID's before letting you into the gym.I have no idea where the school found Weather Guy. For all I know he'd lived on the land when the school was started in 1868, and they built the gym around him and gave him a job. He was never NOT there. Weekends, nights, early morning...
Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House - March 4, 2014 Category: Neurologists Authors: Grumpy, M.D. Source Type: blogs
On call, Sunday morning
Overheard at the nurses station at 7:53 a.m.:"So far we've had 2 try to escape, 3 wander out buck naked, a lady in DT's screaming about spiders, 4 calls to security, the lady in 17 smoking weed in the bathroom, the guy in 24 masturbating in the hallway, and it's not even f.ing 8:00 yet." (Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House)
Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House - March 3, 2014 Category: Neurologists Authors: Grumpy, M.D. Source Type: blogs
Genetics
Dr. Grumpy: "Any major illnesses in your family?"Mr. Flat: "My Dad was killed by a steamroller." (Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House)
Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House - February 28, 2014 Category: Neurologists Authors: Grumpy, M.D. Source Type: blogs
Wednesday afternoon
I'm at the nurses' station, writing a note. A cardiologist puts a chart next to me and sits down.Dr. Snow: "Hi, Ibee."Dr. Grumpy: "Oh, hi, Mike."Dr. Snow: "You seeing the new guy with the stroke?"Dr. Grumpy: "Yeah. Hey, how'd your family ski trip go?"Dr. Snow: "We had to cut it short. My oldest son broke his leg on the second day."Dr. Grumpy: "I'm sorry, is he okay?"Dr. Snow: "Yeah, but he needed surgery. It was a compound fracture" (whips out iPhone) "See? There's the tibia sticking out below the knee, and this next one..." (Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House)
Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House - February 27, 2014 Category: Neurologists Authors: Grumpy, M.D. Source Type: blogs
Neurological nightmares
I have a pleasantly demented patient, Mrs. Tangle. She's very nice, but quite confused, and getting slowly worse. She's at an assisted living apartment.Her husband died 2 years ago. They had a few old boxes in a closet that no one ever got around to unpacking. The family figured they were clothes, or pictures, or whatever. They were buried under blankets and photo albums and other stuff.So a few days ago I got a call from the patient's son. He urgently needed to talk to me, and Annie told me that I needed to deal with this one personally. I trust her judgment when she says that. So I took the phone. At about the same time ...
Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House - February 26, 2014 Category: Neurologists Authors: Grumpy, M.D. Source Type: blogs
Priorities
Brent writes in with this bit of drama from his practice:Mr. Husband: "Can you make a house call for my wife? Her asthma is really bad, and she's having a tough time breathing. She won't go to ER, either."Dr. Brent: "Just bring her to my office. I'll squeeze her in this afternoon."Mr. Husband: Well, she's been coughing a lot. And, you know, she has that problem that when she coughs, she leaks urine. I can't have that in my truck."Dr. Brent: "So bring her in her car."Mr. Husband: "THE NEW BMW?!!! ARE YOU CRAZY???" (Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House)
Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House - February 25, 2014 Category: Neurologists Authors: Grumpy, M.D. Source Type: blogs
EHR: Making you look like an idiot
(Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House)
Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House - February 24, 2014 Category: Neurologists Authors: Grumpy, M.D. Source Type: blogs
Okay...
Dr. Grumpy: "Let me order an MRI... Are you claustrophobic?"Mrs. Orlok: "No. I lie in coffins routinely, and don't have a problem." (Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House)
Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House - February 21, 2014 Category: Neurologists Authors: Grumpy, M.D. Source Type: blogs
Dear Dr. Laser Surgery Scam,
Sorry I talked my patient out of letting you touch him. I understand you have to make a living, too. I know I hung up on you when you called to yell and threaten me yesterday, but, quite frankly, I don't give a shit.My patient has pain in the right hand, which my EMG/NCV last week showed was simply carpal tunnel syndrome. I've scheduled him to see a hand surgeon in a few days.I understand the MRI of his neck had a few disk bulges and all, which might cause hand pain. But, as is documented in the report and your own note, all those abnormalities are on the left. His symptoms are all on the right.When he told me that you wer...
Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House - February 20, 2014 Category: Neurologists Authors: Grumpy, M.D. Source Type: blogs
Why I love Mary
Mary: "Dr. Grumpy's office, this is Mary."Ms. Tinfoil: "Hi, I need to see the doctor."Mary: "Okay, we have an opening next Tuesday at..."Ms. Tinfoil: "Does your office have WiFi?"Mary: "No, we're a small practice and..."Ms. Tinfoil: "That's good. My last neurologist was using WiFi to read my thoughts. He fired me when I told him I was reporting him to the police."Mary: "Okay... What are you coming in for?"Ms. Tinfoil: "I want someone to look at my MRI films. All the doctors say they're normal, but I know they work for the government. You can see the microtransistors they placed in my brain to use WiFi on me, and I need a n...
Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House - February 19, 2014 Category: Neurologists Authors: Grumpy, M.D. Source Type: blogs
