An Illustration of How Nursing Shapes One's Thinking
This morning I stepped through the bathroom floor.Yes, that bathroom floor. The one an ex-boyfriend of mine and I spent six weeks working on. I was turning on the shower when *crunch* went my right foot, right through some tile.BN (Before Nursing), I would've panicked. AN (After Nursing), here's my thought process.1. Is it a problem?Yes.2. Is it a problem that will prevent me from showering?No.(Get into shower.)3. Is this a problem that will require me to wake up Boyfiend for his opinion?No. It can wait.4. What are the best-case and worst-case scenarios when it comes to fixing this problem?Best: Replace a few squares of fl...
Source: Head Nurse - October 20, 2013 Category: Nurses Authors: Jo Source Type: blogs
Ohai. September was sort of busy.
A few folks have asked for updates on our Fantastic Integrated Computer System and about the woman who went to the non-accredited nursing school. Herewith:The FICS is. . . .well, most of the functionality has been turned off. Which is nice, as it doesn't feel like Big Brother is right over your shoulder all the time. Basically, none of the tracking features worked right. Hell, the call lights and information boards in the rooms didn't even work right, so away they went, to be replaced with the old setups. Nobody is crying.As for the tech who went to the wrong school: Somebody asked why accreditation makes a difference, if ...
Source: Head Nurse - October 5, 2013 Category: Nurses Authors: Jo Source Type: blogs
You can't handle the truth!
Dr. Ali and I were talking about our recent (constant) staffing problems last night. I said I couldn't figure out why a unit with patients with things like GBS and big MCA strokes (one makes you not breathe, the other can make you have fatal heart arrhythmias without warning) wasn't considered a priority in staffing. I mean, we had a code a couple of weeks ago when some poor sod went into ventricular fibrillation (non-medical definition: your heart quits beating and just shivers: very bad), and only one nurse on the floor. It was touch-and-go, but we got said poor sod coded, stabilized, and later discharged.Dr. A. told me ...
Source: Head Nurse - August 26, 2013 Category: Nurses Authors: Jo Source Type: blogs
A late-summer, end-of-summer treat: fried green tomatoes.
I did not learn to make these when I was growing up. As far as I can remember, my Sainted Mother, being more or less a Yankee, never fried a green tomato, let alone okra or the leftovers of grits that had been left to become solid in the refrigerator.At some point in the last ten years, though, I learned to make fried green tomatoes. They're not economical--very few people have enough tomato plants that finding a use for them is necessary, at the end of the season. They're not Paleo, or Atkins, or Clean--they're something you make as a special treat, to serve with fresh mozarella or shrimp or sausages, or just on their own...
Source: Head Nurse - August 1, 2013 Category: Nurses Authors: Jo Source Type: blogs
A surgeon walks into a neurocritical care unit. . . .
Actually, he rolled in. On a stretcher. After a TIA. Transported by EMS from the airport. And it was, sadly, no joke.There are surgeons nobody hears about, even if they've been working in the same place for twenty years. There are surgeons you only ever hear good things about. Then there are surgeons like Dr. Guts, about whom the most complimentary thing I've ever heard is, "Well, he's not quite Satan."This is a man I once saw push a chart rack (remember those? Welded wire, meant to hold eight or so charts at once? Big, heavy three-inch plastic chart binders, full of paper, each weighing more than a couple of pounds?) over...
Source: Head Nurse - July 17, 2013 Category: Nurses Authors: Jo Source Type: blogs
Styling the bedroom? Ain't nobody got time for that!
If you've been reading this blog for a while, you'll know that I've become addicted to renovation/decorating/house blogs.It's a shameful thing.It's a shameful thing because, to be honest, my addiction (which started when I bought this house, seven or so years ago) has resulted in nothing except my painting every wall in the house white. Well, and putting up those two-inch-wide, faux-wood blinds that JCPenney sells because I was sick of uncleanable Roman shades. Did that today. Lost some patience, some years of my life, and not a little bit of blood.Somehow, despite being glued to Anna's and Daniel and Max's escapades, and ...
Source: Head Nurse - June 25, 2013 Category: Nurses Authors: Jo Source Type: blogs
Neophilia.
Gracious. Has it been nearly a month?There's been a lot going on.ANNOUNCEMENT NUMBER ONE: I have a new boss.Not only do I have a new boss, I have a *fantastic* new boss. The honeymoon period is long over; I've worked with this person in a boss-capacity for going on two years now.This boss, unlike the last boss, does not say things like "All vasoactive drugs are the same" and "I don't see why you're worried about your skills; you're a critical-care-trained nurse, right?" and "*I* had to work a whole twelve hours twice this week, so why can't *you* come in for a couple of extra shifts?"All of which are verbatim from Old Boss...
Source: Head Nurse - June 19, 2013 Category: Nurses Authors: Jo Source Type: blogs
What's in *your* closet?
It's that time of year again, Minions. Those of you in Tornado Alley know what I'm talking about firsthand. Those of you not in the Alley know what I'm talking about thanks to the coverage of what happened in Granbury and Moore.The Disaster Closet at Chez Jo is up and running once again. Hooray.What, you might ask, is a Disaster Closet? Is it a closet where you keep your Bai Ling costumes? Your emerald-green eyeshadow? The mutant cakes that failed to rise?Nope. It's where the cats and I go (and eventually The Boyfiend and The Dog, if ever the latter shows up) when the sky turns the same color as that eyeshadow and the sire...
Source: Head Nurse - May 21, 2013 Category: Nurses Authors: Jo Source Type: blogs
So, this whole Angelina Jolie thing. . .
Y'all have heard she had her boobs removed because she carries a mutant BRCA gene, right? And that she's gonna have her ovaries taken out pretty soon, too, right?I cannot *believe* what folk been sayin' about that. First of all, it's nobody's place to have an opinion on what she does with her own body, even if she puts it out there in an op-ed in the New York Times. Second of all, if you have the kind of opinion that says, "She should've considered what that would do to her fans" or "She should've tried yoga and broccoli first," I will take you down.Or, I would've, but then I read this:Oh F. You.Don't want your real name b...
Source: Head Nurse - May 16, 2013 Category: Nurses Authors: Jo Source Type: blogs
Saturday Night Sing-Along:
"It took me four days to hitchhike from Saginaw" is the most gorgeous line in this song.Or maybe "I said, 'Be careful, his bow tie is really a camera.'"Still a favorite. (Source: Head Nurse)
Source: Head Nurse - May 4, 2013 Category: Nurses Authors: Jo Source Type: blogs
I had a post all worked out about how I'd lost all joy in my job. . .
And then it got cold.Let's review the bidding: Yesterday, the high was 85*F. That's somewhere north of 29 degrees for you guys who are using a sane and sensible temperature scale.Last night, the low was 50*F. Today, the *high* was 47*F.Tonight, it's supposed to get down close to freezing. I hope the tomato plants and basil live.In short, go home, Texas weather. You're drunk.I refuse to talk about nursing right now, because Manglement has indeed sucked all the joy out of my job recently. Instead of being sad that a friend of mine is leaving for a new job, I'm burning with envy.So instead, let's talk about food. I have a cra...
Source: Head Nurse - May 2, 2013 Category: Nurses Authors: Jo Source Type: blogs
Hell of a time to show up, complications. Hell of a time.
So, when I visited the lovely Nikki and her cronies up in Seattle (heeeeeyyyy!), I came down with a Horrible East-Coast Plague brought by the lovely Lara. Lara is Gwyneth Paltrow; don't let anybody tell you different. Some say the world will end in fire, some say in ice; *I* say it will end with an innocent-sounding sneeze from Pittsburgh.Three days ago, I came down with Plague Two-Point-Ought.The doc could do nothing for me, since I declined her kind offer of multiple opiates for cough suppression. Even as lovely as that stuff can be, I'd rather cough until my toenails come loose than itch and be constipated and paranoid ...
Source: Head Nurse - April 22, 2013 Category: Nurses Authors: Jo Source Type: blogs
Yep.
(Source: Head Nurse)
Source: Head Nurse - April 17, 2013 Category: Nurses Authors: Jo Source Type: blogs
(Another one of) Jo's Annual Gardening Post(s)
It's been a good-news, bad-news kind of almost-month.The good news is that we're very busy at Sunnydale (Healthcare for the Hellmouth). The bad news is that we're so short-staffed in every department except the one that does, like, colonoscopies and stuff that I've had five-patient days lately. As in, start with two, discharge those, get three.The good news is that The Boy is moving down here in a couple of weeks, and that he has a fabulous new job that will keep me in beer to the point that I'll need to have my own floating scooter to get around the house. The bad news is that he's got shingles.Yes, shingles. I diagnosed ...
Source: Head Nurse - April 11, 2013 Category: Nurses Authors: Jo Source Type: blogs
Malarkey: How to Put It Over Effectively.
For some reason which I have been, as yet, unable to discern, those members of the public who are most inclined to attempt malarkey at the hospital choose neurological afflictions as their mode de malarkification.I am SO TIRED of people who insist--insist!--that there is indeed a brain tumor, right here (points to right temporal lobe), despite the evidence of repeated MRIs to the contrary. I am equally as tired of people who have trouble remembering on which side they ought to be weak. And I've had it up to my moustache with folk who think that squinting is a facial droop.So, in the interest of having something actually fa...
Source: Head Nurse - March 18, 2013 Category: Nurses Authors: Jo Source Type: blogs
