Mom with Dementia Won ’t Accept Help at Home and Fights Going to Memory Care
Photo credit Pexels Nashua Voleauz Young Dear Carol: My mom is 86 years old and lives on her own but it’s obvious that this can’t continue. She doesn’t eat well. She forgets her medications or may even take the wrong doses. She leaves the stove on. We’ve tried in-home care, but she won’t let them in. Mom refuses to believe that her mind isn’t healthy. Her doctor has suggested memory care in the past, but she’s refused that, of course. I know that moving people with dementia can make them worse, but she can’t stay where she is. The question is how do we get her there? – SN Continue reading on Inforum...
Source: Minding Our Elders - May 22, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs

Reconciling Grief & Relief When the Loved One You Cared for Dies
Photo credit Kat Smith When my mother died in a local nursing home, my “career” of visiting this exceptional facility nearly every day for almost 15 years ended. Shortly after Mom’s passing, one of her nurses whom I’d become quite close with said to me, “We’ll still be seeing you up here. You won’t be able to quit.” It turns out she was wrong on that one. However, my case is a little different from most, since I’d spent nearly two decades caring for multiple elders. Also, my role hadn’t totally ended—I still had a family member at home who needed my care. Yet the loss of a loved one brings on ma...
Source: Minding Our Elders - May 21, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs

Hospital Delirium: Cognitive Decline After Hospitalization
In the expected course of treatment, people are hospitalized because they are ill. Then, barring a terminal condition, they are released because they are better. Once home, people recover further, and continue on with their lives as well as their original illness allows them to. Unfortunately, with elderly people, this best-case scenario doesn't always happen.  Cognitive Decline Following Hospitalization: Sometimes an older adult experiences a noticeable cognitive decline post-hospitalization. Families and caregivers are left wanting to know what happened and wondering if their loved one will ever be cognitivel...
Source: Minding Our Elders - May 20, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs

Choosing Senior Housing and Care Based on Your Parent's Needs
As our population ages and more of our national focus is on senior care, we can find ourselves in a muddle over confusing choices. How do we decide what care our elderly mother or father needs and when do we start looking for it?  Choosing Senior Care: If Mom is still living in her original home, with no one to look in on her regularly, she may be at a turning point. Many people choose to start getting help from in-home care agencies since Mom can stay in her home longer with this help. Others feel it's time for Mom to move to assisted living. There are several things for you and your mom to look at while you c...
Source: Minding Our Elders - May 20, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs

Hindsight Can Be a Blessing or a Curse for Caregivers
Photo credit Abigail Keenan They say hindsight is 20/20. But things from the past that may seem “clear” to you now can still be distorted by difficult emotions—especially when it comes to something as impactful as caregiving. Now that you have some experience under your belt, imagine that you could go back in time. What would you say to your novice self about how to be a caregiver? As a seasoned caregiver myself, I can choose to ruminate over my perceived failures, or I can choose to forgive myself for being imperfect and recognize that I did the best I could at the time. You have the same choice. Much like an ...
Source: Minding Our Elders - May 19, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs

5 Questions to Determine the Impact of Caregiving on the Caregiver
Photo credit Mathilde Loland Are you prepared to take on the responsibility of caring for a family member? Will you be able to handle the commitment of moving your parent(s) in with you? How will you know when caregiving has become too much to handle? Will caregiving negatively impact your relationships with immediate family members? When is it time to think about other eldercare arrangements? When aging parents or an ill family member need help, many of us dive into caregiving with full hearts and little forethought. Sometime later, we come to realize that we’ve been in this role for months or even years and that it has...
Source: Minding Our Elders - May 18, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs

Are People Living with Advanaced Dementia Aware of Their Surroundings?
Photo credit Matthew Bennett I was recently chatting with a group of students from a university class that uses my book as a text, and a young woman shared a story about her grandmother that started an interesting discussion. The young woman was in her twenties and her name was Anna. Although she had never known her grandmother without AD, they still had a close relationship. Twenty years is a long time for the disease to progress, and some people decline much more quickly than others. Anna was fortunate to know her grandmother during the years when she was still able to communicate. Of course, as her grandmoth...
Source: Minding Our Elders - May 17, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs

When a Loved One with Alzheimer's Doesn't Recognize You
Photo credit D Mason Watching a loved one move through the stages of Alzheimer's disease (AD) can be one of life's toughest and most heartbreaking challenges. If we had to list examples of emotions by the distress they cause us, at the top of the list would be watching someone we love experience physical and mental pain that we cannot relieve. For many caregivers, next on the list at least for many caregivers, would be having to live with the fact that a loved one no longer recognizes us for who we are.  When my family members were residents of a care facility, I asked one of the nurses at the nursing home if my moth...
Source: Minding Our Elders - May 16, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs

Coping with Caregiving: How to End the Habit of Emotional Eating
Photo credit Tetiana  Bykovets As far back as breast or formula feeding, most of us learned that a sweet taste meant care and comfort. As we grew into more sophisticated foods, we learned to equate certain items with happiness. Our parents picked up on these preferences and would offer these things as treats and on special occasions. Ice cream, anyone? Somewhere deep in our subconscious, most of us learn to associate food—at least certain types of food—with nurturing, comfort and happiness. For this reason, caregivers who are overloaded with responsibilities and stressed to the max often turn to food as a source ...
Source: Minding Our Elders - May 15, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs

People Living with Dementia - and Their Caregivers - Still Need Their Friends
Photo credit Pexels Cotton Bro Dear Carol: My dad used to be well known in our medium-sized community because he was a businessman and active in local organizations. Then, he developed dementia and people gradually forgot about him. I understand that the changes in him were painful to see, but this tore me apart. He spent ten years living with Alzheimer’s disease before he died, and while at first, some people did stop by, gradually his lifelong friends fell away. Why can’t people try harder to visit old friends and colleagues who have dementia? It would mean so much! – GH Continue reading on Inforum for some discuss...
Source: Minding Our Elders - May 14, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs

10 Caregiver Tips for Caring for an Older Adult's Hair
Photo credit Cristian Newman As we age, some of the angst of youth fades, making us more relaxed about our looks. But, our hair is a big part of how we present ourselves to the world, and most of us still want to look our best. Caring for an elder's hair can be a challenge. My mother-in-law, Alice, had been going to the same beauty shop for decades. The salon was situated in a woman's home, and there were several steps that led up to the entrance. In general, the steps weren't a problem for Alice, until a fear of falling took over. She would freeze about halfway up or down the steps. We'd remain stuck in the middle, ...
Source: Minding Our Elders - May 13, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs

What to Do When a Senior Repeats the Same Things Over and Over
Photo credit Georg Arthur Pflueger One sign of the aging brain is repeating things more often, especially stories and questions. There are reasons for this that are not related to progressive conditions like dementia, but in either case, repetition can get old very quickly. Even the most experienced and patient family caregivers occasionally struggle to hide their frustration. While there is no easy fix for this trying side effect of aging, a change in attitude and some proven strategies can help you keep your cool and preserve your loved one’s dignity.  On Aging and Being Repetitive" As we age, our perspecti...
Source: Minding Our Elders - May 12, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs

How to Convince a Older Adult with Incontinence to Wear Adult Diapers
Photo credit Mathias Konrath Incontinence is a condition that is often difficult for a person to accept and deal with. Many seniors try to ignore this new development and carry on with their lives, but a head-in-the-sand approach usually draws more attention to the problem. There are ways to encourage a loved one to address this issue, but they require patience, understanding and a commitment to upholding your loved one’s dignity. Pro Tip: Strike the Word Diaper from Your Vocabulary “My parent won’t wear adult diapers and it drives me nuts!” This is a common complaint from family caregivers whose loved ones are suf...
Source: Minding Our Elders - May 11, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs

How Can We Minimize Grief for a Surviving Spouse Living with Dementia?
Photo credit Tim Doerfler Deciding whether to tell someone who is cognitively impaired that their spouse has died is a serious and often recurring struggle. Dementia and death are sad and challenging enough on their own, but when they coincide, the result can be truly heartbreaking. For someone who has never experienced the challenges of caring for someone with dementia, decisions about telling the truth may seem like a no-brainer. However, as with many dementia-related quandaries, the question and answer are far more complex for those facing this reality. There is no one-size-fits-all solution to this painful situat...
Source: Minding Our Elders - May 10, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs

People Living with Advanced Alzheimer's Are Still Aware of Their Surroundings
Photo credit Alberto Barbarisi Note to subscribers: There was a glitch in the newspaper link in yesterday's post so here is a refreshed link for the column on falls and decline:  Today's post on awareness below: ...Even among medical experts, you will find differing opinions on how much someone with advanced dementia of any type understands. Alzheimer's disease (AD) in particular can render a person mute and uncommunicative, especially during the final stages of the disease. This situation commonly leaves family members wondering how much their loved one is aware of and whether their efforts are providing any comfort...
Source: Minding Our Elders - May 9, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs