Finding a Balance between Physical Safety and Mental Health in Older Adults
Photo credit Binyamin Mellish
Dear Carol: After suffering a stroke, my dad was diagnosed with early-stage vascular dementia. So far, other than having one weak side, Dad is independent and wants to do things for himself including minor maintenance and planting flowers around his condominium. When we tell him he should leave these jobs to others he says that he enjoys “puttering,” and he needs a reason to get out of bed. I do worry about him, but he’s shown he’s capable of making good decisions so he wouldn’t take on projects that common sense says he should not attempt. My sister, on the other hand, says that we ...
Source: Minding Our Elders - June 5, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs
Breaking the News That a Loved One is Going on Hospice Care
Photo credit Pexels Kampus Productions
When the paperwork was finally signed to get hospice care for my dad, I was grateful. There would now be a routine of care for him where he could live in comfort. That's all he really wanted. However, I knew that breaking this news to Mom would be difficult. She'd have to finally admit, and somehow accept, the fact that Dad was dying. After all, hospice care is for people diagnosed as terminally ill. A brief time after Dad's death, Mom's own terminal condition required hospice care in order to control her pain. She had told me numerous times that she was tired of living and read...
Source: Minding Our Elders - June 4, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs
Encouraging Parents to Socialize After the Move to Senior Living
Photo credit Pexels Jean van Der Meulen
Moving to senior living is often a difficult transition for aging loved ones. Even elders who are on board with the decision to relocate to an independent living community, assisted living community or skilled nursing facility are likely to encounter some obstacles when trying to become more familiar with their new living environment and neighbors. The whole experience can be overwhelming, and many seniors initially react by withdrawing into their new room or apartment instead of making friends and joining in activities. This can be frustrating and heartbreaking for family care...
Source: Minding Our Elders - June 3, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs
Planning a July 4th “Picnic” for a Loved One in a Senior Living Community
Photo credit Stephanie McCabe
For July 4th or even better, a random time or boring season:
...my uncle loved going for car rides when the weather was cooperative. Once a week, rather than visiting him in his nursing home room as I did on other days, I’d pick him up and we’d drive around to look at flowering trees and bushes in the community. My uncle particularly enjoyed the spring crab apple blossoms that reminded him of the two decades he and my aunt had spent living out east. Later in the year, we’d drive around local college campuses and neighborhoods to enjoy the summer blooms, and later still, we’d ta...
Source: Minding Our Elders - June 2, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs
10 Tips to Help You “Unplug” from Caregiving
Jen has been caring for her parents for almost two years and she is quickly approaching caregiver burnout. A close friend booked and prepaid a five-day beach vacation for her family months ago, but it turns out they can’t go. They’ve offered Jen the package since they don’t want it to go to waste, but her first instinct is to turn it down. She reckons she could ask for time off work, but who would care for her parents? Even if she managed to arrange respite care for five days, how could she possibly go without being mired in guilt and worrying about what’s happening back at home?
While a free vacation offer isn’t...
Source: Minding Our Elders - June 2, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs
Should You Quit Your Job to Care for Your Elderly Parent?
Photo credit: Pexels Kampus Productions
As parents age and need more assistance, most adult children do what they can to help. For many, the first step is a weekly stop by Mom and Dad’s home to assess the situation and perhaps help with some chores and errands. Often, these check-ins increase in frequency until it becomes a routine part of each day. Family caregivers typically look into community services and in-home care for assistance. They research adult daycare centers and assisted living communities. However, most seniors are adamant about wanting to remain in their own homes and receive assistance from their own ch...
Source: Minding Our Elders - June 1, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs
Who Has the Toughest Time: People with Alzheimer ’s or Their Caregivers?
Photo credit Dario Valensuela
Though they look through the prism of the future from different angles, people with Alzheimer's disease and their loved ones will likely find their lives dramatically altered after the onset and diagnosis of AD. Certainly, the person who develops the disease is facing a life-altering and ultimately terminal disease. However, because of the intensive care needed by people with advanced Alzheimer's, and the pain involved in watching a loved one gradually lose their cognitive abilities, some people wonder if the caregivers endure more than the person with the disease.
Every case of Alzheime...
Source: Minding Our Elders - May 31, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs
How to Survive Caring for Multiple Elders at the Same Time
Photo credit: Exels
Each of our aging parents is unique. Some people age so well that they need little help until they are well into their eighties, while others need hands-on care as early as their fifties or sixties. Adult children are often faced with the task of caring for both parents, and those who are married must contend with their in-laws’ declining health as well. Caring for more than one person brings added stress over how a caregiver should divide their time. It’s typically a case of caregiver burnout waiting to happen.
When Caregivers Are Pulled in Too Many Directions: Every caregiver is famil...
Source: Minding Our Elders - May 30, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs
Is “Broken Heart Syndrome” Real or Just a Romantic Idea?
Photo credit Pavel Danilyuk
Dear Carol: I read an article online where you wrote that you’d lost both of your parents within a few months. I’ve been there. My dad died from heart issues that he’d lived with for a long time, but when he died, he went quickly in his sleep so we couldn’t say goodbye. As you can imagine, his passing was hard on all of us but particularly hard on mom since they’d been together for over 60 years. After Dad’s death, Mom discovered that she had cancer and she passed exactly two months after Dad. Thankfully, we were with her during her decline and could hold her hand as she died but los...
Source: Minding Our Elders - May 29, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs
Coping With the Decision to Put Your Parent in a Nursing Home
Photo credit Claudia Soroya
Guilt is one emotion that every family caregiver will experience at some point during their journey. When you take on responsibility for another person, there is an enormous amount of pressure to consider all factors and make the best decisions regarding their health and finances. Unfortunately, care decisions are rarely black and white. No one always makes the right call in every circumstance. Mistakes are part of human nature, but we do our best with the information and resources we have at the time. One of the most contentious and guilt-inducing decisions that many family caregivers fac...
Source: Minding Our Elders - May 28, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs
Tips on How to Talk to the Doctor About Your Older Parent or Spouse
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A frequent problem expressed among family caregivers is that their aging loved ones aren’t honest with their doctors. At home, they may gripe about intense pain, struggle to complete activities of daily living (ADLs) independently, or exhibit memory problems that lead to unfair accusations, but the moment they sit down in a doctor’s office, a change occurs. Like an actor on stage, the patient becomes animated and charming and has no complaints to report to their physician. What gives?
A Caregiver’s Experience With “Showtiming”: My mom was a supreme example. She fell ...
Source: Minding Our Elders - May 27, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs
When One Parent Dies the Other Often Needs a Long-Term Care Plan
Photo credit Vlada Karpovich
Long-term marriages generally evolve into a support system so efficient that even adult children hardly notice changes in their parents. If Dad's hearing is poor, Mom becomes his ears. If Mom's arthritis is bad, Dad becomes her muscle. If one of them has memory loss, the other fills in the gaps so smoothly that it's barely noticeable to onlookers. Then, either Mom or Dad dies. The person remaining suddenly is more frail and needy than anyone would have expected. The surviving spouse is suffering the loss of their life partner, a shock from which they may never completely recover. Also, th...
Source: Minding Our Elders - May 26, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs
Journaling for Caregivers: Rediscover Yourself and Reclaim Your Life
Photo credit Aaron Burden
At some point during your caregiving journey, you may find yourself in a rut. The awareness may come with a birthday, a change in season, an event, or the beginning of a new year. Whatever the reason, the sameness of each day can, at times, seem overwhelming and permanent. Yes, you experience adrenaline rushes when your loved one has an emergency. Yes, you have frequent medical updates and handle other changes in their care. But what about you? What about your need as a person to look forward to something fresh and exciting in your own life every once in a while?
Sadly, new beginnings for caregive...
Source: Minding Our Elders - May 25, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs
Caregiving Is Not a Competitive Sport
Photo credit Andrea Piacquadio
Caregiving. What does it mean to you? While often rewarding and frequently exhausting, it’s one of many life events that can only be understood if you’ve been intimately involved. This truth is what drives most caregivers to seek support from their peers as well as professionals who can share valuable information. So, what could go wrong in such a well-meaning group?
Normally, all is well in caregiver support groups. People help and comfort one another, offer advice based on what’s worked for them in a similar situation, or just simply offer a much-appreciated hug — virtual or o...
Source: Minding Our Elders - May 24, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs
Tips for Balancing Caregiving Relationships between Generations
Photo credit Alex Pavloff
Caregiving can creep into your life or crash down with a bang, but either way, if we aren’t thinking ahead, we can find that our other relationships suffer. Oh man, I’ve been there.
This is how it often happens: You see your parents a lot since you still live in the same community. So, when your mom falls and breaks her arm, of course, you rush to help. You assist your dad with making some adjustments around the house, and then, for the most part, he takes over. Then, the unthinkable: Your dad has a heart attack. You rush in to help. And then…
Some of the cuts you make are obvio...
Source: Minding Our Elders - May 23, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs
