‘ Sorry for Your Loss … Let ’ s Get Back to Work ’ : On the Nature of Grief

It has always bothered me that people start discussing what’s for dinner after a funeral service ends. I could never understand how quickly people can move from something horrible to something ordinary. Sure, part of my distaste stems from having experienced a horrific loss myself. I lost my husband, Jim, after less than four years of marriage because of a heart condition he never knew existed. He went to work and collapsed during his lunch hour. His death destroyed my world and the last thing I wanted to do after the funeral was enjoy a meal with others. But this is about more than my own experience. Funeral repasts anger me because they are emblematic of how our society discourages grieving. Grieving is painful, and pain is uncomfortable. Nobody enjoys it, so a stigma has developed around it. Since our childhood we have been conditioned to bury or avoid our “negative” feelings. Sports are a good example. “Shake it off” and “Rub some dirt on it” are two lessons children are taught when injured. Social media has made it worse. Rarely do people post their problems on Facebook. Usually they post pretty pictures of their lives — the child who wins a school award, the vacation the family has just returned from, the spouse who earned a promotion, etc … Life on social media is a Norman Rockwell painting. Reality is quite different. Technology deserves some blame as well. Instant gratification is our mantra, which is why there is an app for everything. Need...
Source: World of Psychology - Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Tags: Grief and Loss Bereavement grieving Source Type: blogs