Feeling Trapped or Abandoned: When Relationships Run Hot or Cold

By nature, humans are wired for connection. We seek out others to share our lives with, with the goal of forming lasting and intimate bonds. So feeling trapped or abandoned in an intimate relationship shouldn’t be a common thing, should it? Actually, these experiences are common for partners who wind up repeating cycles within intimate relationships that they may be unaware of. Feeling trapped or abandoned are commonly seen in the push-pull dynamic found in unhealthy relationships; both styles often represent two sides of the same coin. Engulfment and Abandonment Defined Fear of being engulfed, or trapped, is often indicated as feeling smothered, or in losing one’s autonomy within the relationship. People who report feeling trapped may try controlling their partner through hostile withdrawal, emotional indifference, cheating or otherwise punishing the partner, up to and including, abandoning them. Fear of being abandoned is often indicated as being afraid to be alone, or fearing being left behind or forgotten. Those who report feelings of abandonment or perceived abandonment may use desperate measures (self-harm, alcohol or drug use, etc.) to prevent being abandoned, which often reinforces the very abandonment they fear. With this type of relationship dynamic, each partner is feeding into the other partner’s biggest fears, often at the expense of unraveling the relationship. It is common to see both partners vacillate between the two dynamics, and potentially strengthe...
Source: World of Psychology - Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Tags: Relationships Abandonment Attachment Style Borderline Personality Engulfment Intimacy Self-Esteem Source Type: blogs