Reconnecting with My Brother: A Time for Healing

I had not seen my brother in over 25 years. I had not seen him since we buried our father in the summer of 1994. But our disconnection ended in January, 2020, when I traveled back to my hometown of Dallas to see him for a weekend. Forty-eight hours is a minuscule amount of time compared to the loss of 25 years. But for me, it was intimate, it was validating, and it was healing. My brother and I were extremely close as kids. He is seven years older than me, but we spent considerable time together until he got his real first girlfriend, who turned out to be his future wife. Because of the age difference, my brother was a mixture of older brother and second father. We had great fun together, but he also helped to guide me and teach me. He taught me how to play tennis. He taught me how to play the baritone ukulele. I looked up to him; he was smart and driven and self assured. He was destined to be successful. He was funny and sarcastic. He was unflappable. In contrast, I was this tall, lanky kid who was sensitive and shy and not very confident. So I was naturally drawn to my older brother who was a large figure in my eyes, someone who I could depend on and who looked out for me. I loved him. My brother was uniquely important to me because my parents did not get along and they had an unhappy marriage. I relied on him to shield me and buffer me from their arguments and ongoing tension. He did that well. He did it despite receiving much of the brunt of our mother’s emptiness and a...
Source: World of Psychology - Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Tags: Family Grief and Loss Personal Adult Siblings Death Of A Parent Divorce estranged family Estrangement grieving Reconnecting Source Type: blogs