New Path?

SOME of my purchases were delivered yesterday - SIX! And I know there are so many more on the way! As I was opening them, I felt so much regret, I felt like an idiot, wasting all that money and didn't have any excitement whatsoever about each thing.  As a matter of fact, I was thinking I couldn't believe spent so much money on junk.Mark called when I was upset about it, and as soon as he heard my voice, because spouses just know each other that well, he knew I was sad.  He asked if I was and I told him yes, but at that time I hadn't figured out the reason why yet, I just thought the feeling came over me for no reason.  He said, "But you were SO HAPPY!  What HAPPENED?", and then I realized...it's not just strangers and friends who love to be around me when I'm hypomanic, it was even my own husband which made me sad.  It seemed like he preferred me that way, but to be truthful, I've been depressed for a really long time so maybe it WAS nice not to come home to gloom and doom for awhile, no matter the reason.He even started talking up my buying things!  He was saying...but you bought things to decorate our house nicely for Christmas, not even knowing what I have bought.  But that is true, that is what I was doing and I had been totally honest with him about that.  Totally, brutally honest because how can you hide something that is numerical?  I was still kicking myself and upset about it and went to bed really early.  I...
Source: bipolar.and.me - Category: Mental Illness Source Type: blogs