The What, Why, When and How of Detaching from Loved Ones  

Codependents become overly attached — not because they love so much but because they need so much. Attachment is based upon need — need for someone to be a certain way so that you can feel okay. Although it’s painful to see a loved one being self-destructive, detachment allows us to enjoy our life despite another person’s problems and behavior. What gets in the way are codependent patterns of managing and controlling, reacting and worrying, and obsessing.  Attachment and caring are normal. It’s healthy to get attached to someone in our family or with whom we’re intimate, but codependent attachment cause us pain and problems in relationships. We can become over-involved. The antidote is to detach and let go.  What is detaching? Detachment implies neutrality. Detaching is a way of separating the unhealthy emotional glue that keeps us fused in a codependent relationship.  What Detaching Isn’t It doesn’t mean physical withdrawal. Nor is detaching emotional withdrawal, such as being aloof, disinterested, emotionally shut down, or ignoring someone.  Detaching doesn’t mean neglecting family responsibilities or leaving someone. Although physical space or separation may be useful as a means of setting boundaries and centering ourselves, this is not what detaching means. For example, some people decide to not have contact with someone, because the relationship is too painful. Physical proximity is irrelevant. In fact, some divorced couples are more emotion...
Source: Psych Central - Category: Psychiatry Authors: Tags: Addictions Codependence Relationships & Love Substance Abuse Codependency Codependent Enabling no contact reciprocity Source Type: news