Thoughts on Abusers and Victims

Reading a book written on the origins of war (BLOOD OF THE BELOVED by Mary Coleman), I was struck by two useful concepts about aggression which seemed relevant to the population I often serve: victims of physical abuse who become disregulated eaters. If you fit this description, I hope these ideas speed your recovery. If you feel defective or “bad” as a result of having been physically abused by a parent, it’s time to stop blaming yourselves. A 2006 study (“Neural mechanisms of genetic risk for impulsivity and violence in humans,” Meryeer-Lindenberg et als, Proceedings of the National Academy of Science U.S.A., 103:629-6274) identifies three factors which are needed together to produce a violent adult.” (BELOVED, p. 12): 1)    gender (being a boy) combined with 2)    a gene (MAOA) associated with violence 3)    maltreatment during childhood Coleman writes that “Societies that tilt toward guilt are actually more likely to avoid war than societies that tilt toward shame.” (BELOVED, p. 38) Applied to individuals, we might say that your parents might not have hurt you if they’d felt more guilt to prevent their actions. People who feel a great deal of shame, on the other hand, often aren’t able to access it to prevent hurtful actions, although they might feel shame after them. Guilt is an excellent feeling to experience when you’ve done something or think about doing something wrong. It also helps prevent you from doin...
Source: Normal Eating - Category: Eating Disorders Authors: Source Type: blogs