Thoughts on Abusers and Victims
Reading a book written on the
origins of war (BLOOD OF THE BELOVED by Mary Coleman), I was struck by two
useful concepts about aggression which seemed relevant to the population I
often serve: victims of physical abuse who become disregulated eaters. If you
fit this description, I hope these ideas speed your recovery.
If you feel defective or “bad” as a
result of having been physically abused by a parent, it’s time to stop blaming
yourselves. A 2006 study (“Neural mechanisms of genetic risk for impulsivity
and violence in humans,” Meryeer-Lindenberg et als, Proceedings of the
National Academy of Science U.S.A., 103:629-6274) identifies three factors
which are needed together to produce a violent adult.” (BELOVED, p. 12):
1)
gender (being a boy) combined with
2)
a gene (MAOA) associated with violence
3)
maltreatment during childhood
Coleman writes that “Societies that
tilt toward guilt are actually more likely to avoid war than societies that
tilt toward shame.” (BELOVED, p. 38) Applied to individuals, we might say that
your parents might not have hurt you if they’d felt more guilt to prevent their
actions. People who feel a great deal of shame, on the other hand, often aren’t
able to access it to prevent hurtful actions, although they might feel shame
after them. Guilt is an excellent feeling to experience when you’ve done
something or think about doing something wrong. It also helps prevent you
from doin...
Source: Normal Eating - Category: Eating Disorders Authors: eatnormalnow Source Type: blogs
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