done with the "good girl"

Since the beginning of my treatment, I have asked questions and attempted to make the most informed decisions possible. I've worked at being a good self-advocate without being difficult, just because I'm pissed off and fed up.Sometimes that's a challenge.I am, however, fundamentally, and through lots of conditioning, a good girl.I've put up with a lot of crap and maybe endured some things I didn't need to, for the sake of keeping the peace, getting through and not rocking the boat. The need for approval runs deep in this girl.Tomorrow, I go in for further testing on my port. The nurses in the port unit are work in very cramped conditions and seem overwhelmed. Last time I had an appointment, I waited for over an hour to be seen and was then treated like I could not possibly know anything about my own treatment or medical experiences.After five painful attempts to access my port, they filled it with fluid (what the nurse at the treatment unit the next day, called "Drano for ports") that stayed in overnight. That didn't work. When I next spoke the port-team coordinator, I was told to come in for a "portogram", an X-ray with contrast fluid inserted, so that it will all show up better on film.I asked "Can you tell me why I need to do this? We know it's broken. What will the portogram tell us that we don't already know?" The coordinator seemed taken aback but answered readily enough: If the port does not seem to be obviously broken, they can try a slow flush over four hours of...
Source: Not just about cancer - Category: Cancer Tags: complementary treatment metastatic breast cancer herceptin pissed off cancer blog rants Source Type: blogs