I've lost my one true constant in my life...

Friday, August 2, 2013 current mood:  lost and lonely My thoughts are so scattered as I write this…I think my friend Michelle summed it up pretty well in a message to me on FB.  Maddy has been the one true constant in my life for the past 14 years.  Those words are so powerful and so true.  I have been through so much in the past 14 years but the one thing that has always been there has been Maddy’s unconditional love.  Her wagging tail as she greets me at the door.  My apartment is so empty without her.  Her favorite spot on the couch is bare.  Her water bowl and food bowl are now up in my cupboard.  Her collar and leash still sit on my kitchen counter and will remain there until I’m ready…Will I ever be ready?  Does this pain ever go away?  Will my tears ever stop flowing?Making that tough decision, you know the one that no one wants to make was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. I held her in my arms like a baby, with her head to my chest.  I was  uncontrollably crying and she did what Maddy does best...she picked her head up and licked away my tears.  I couldn't believe even at the end she was still trying to comfort me.  I strongly believe that was her way of letting me know that it was OK to say goodbye.After she was gone I put her lifeless body on the table and wrapped her body with a towel, except her head.  I was still petting her.  I sat with ...
Source: Sharing My Cancer Crapness - Category: Cancer Source Type: blogs