Current versus Memory-Triggered Emotions
Clients sometimes get confused when
I encourage them to experience all their emotions, yet unconsciously discourage them from
dwelling on feelings that trickle up unbidden from the past. This advice is a
bit confusing, I admit. So, let me explain.
There’s a difference, at times
obvious and at times subtle, between emotions that spring from a current event
or interaction and those that are triggered by memory. For instance, if a
friend is often late and, because of this, you end up entering a movie after it
has started, you may have appropriate feelings of annoyance or anger. You’d
want to connect to these feelings to rationally decide how to handle
them—mention something when your friend arrives, wait until you’re having
coffee after the movie, etc. However, in this same example, if your friend
arrives late and your memory coughs up all the times your alcoholic father strolled
in late for parent-teacher conferences or school recitals and failed to keep
his promises in general, you may have a more intense reaction. You may become
so paralyzed with fear or rage that you can’t say a word to your friend or,
conversely, start screaming that you can’t be friends with her and storm off.
See the difference? In the first scenario,
you’re reacting in the present (which includes recent history with your
unreliable friend), feeling hurt or disappointed and using your cognitive
abilities to decide how to deal with the situation. In the second, you...
Source: Normal Eating - Category: Eating Disorders Authors: eatnormalnow Source Type: blogs
More News: Alcoholism | Blogging | Brain | Children | Conferences | Girls | Men | National Institute for Health and Clinical Excelle | Neurology | Teachers