Remembering Loved Ones Lost to Suicide: Give Yourself Permission to Heal

My sister, Amber, died by suicide on New Year’s Eve 2013. I’d last seen her just a few days prior at Christmas. She seemed “off” — depressed and over-apologetic — but certainly no one expected that she was suicidal.  She’d been struggling with depression and substance use, but had also gotten help and was working to get her life back together. In fact, she’d been a patient in my facility just six months prior. As a counselor and as her brother, I had so many questions. How could I have missed the signs? Did I fail her? Did I let her down? In the immediate aftermath, I felt anguish, hurt, anger and a sense of guilt, all at the same time. According to the CDC, suicide is the 10th leading cause of death in the US for all ages, and the second leading cause of death among individuals between the ages of 10 and 34. Anyone who’s lost someone they love knows that dealing with grief is extremely difficult. But for survivors of suicide, that grief is compounded by the stigma and shame that often accompanies these tragic situations.  As a result, our emotional expression gets thwarted — we’re unsure how or when we can express our feelings. If you say, “I lost my mom to cancer,” everyone understands and empathizes with that grief. But, “I lost my sister to suicide,” could evoke an entirely different reaction, and even just saying that out loud can feel almost like an admission of guilt. Many survivors feel partly responsible when a loved one co...
Source: Psych Central - Category: Psychiatry Authors: Tags: Depression Grief and Loss Personal Stories Stigma Suicide Trauma International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day Source Type: news