Feeling versus Being

Here’s a mistaken belief I hear all the time from clients and Food and Feelings message board members: Because I feel a certain way, it must be true. I feel fat, I feel unlovable, I feel unsuccessful, I feel inadequate, I feel defective. Hello, feeling isn’t being. I’m all for connecting with emotions and skillfully using them to navigate life, but when you say I’m feeling any of the above, what does that really mean? Do the preceding statements equal I am fat, I am unlovable, I am unsuccessful, I am inadequate, I am defective? Because that’s what you’re telling yourself. Where’s the proof? When people say they feel fat, they often mean their body feels heavy or their stomach is stretched out from eating or drinking too much. If a 100-pound adult eats a large plate of food and feels fat, does that make her fat? If a successful dancer goes to an audition and doesn’t get the gig, then feels like a loser, does that make it so?  Feeling something is fine; feeling you are something is not fine. My take is that you get caught up in internal misinterpretations of reality that are often way (way, way) off base. Feeling an emotion is acknowledging a transitory, sensory, internal state. For example, at 66, sometimes I feel young and sometimes I feel old. Neither of these sentiments changes the fact that I am 66. I’m not older when I feel ancient, nor younger when I feel like a spring chicken. Get my point?  Notice when you say “I feel t...
Source: Normal Eating - Category: Eating Disorders Authors: Source Type: blogs