Grief must be expressed

Grief may be expressed–without the aid of alcohol, drugs When Joanne and Bob (not their real names) came to the Center for Grief in St. Paul, Minn., after their daughter’s death, they were paralyzed by loss. They couldn’t sleep or work, and their relationship was eroding. "We also quickly discovered they were attempting to anesthetize their pain by drinking it away," said Tom Ellis, the nonprofit center’s executive director and the author of an upcoming book, "The Heart of Grief: New Understandings of Loss." "They had adopted the ritual of consuming several bottles of wine with dinner and would come to therapy exhausted, overwhelmed, and ‘stuck’ in the grieving process. Before we could deal with issues of loss, they needed to deal with their chemical dependency. They needed to ‘clear the channels’ to feeling." "Having feelings that match reality is a sign of mental health," said John Mac Dougall, manager of Spiritual Care and the Family Program at Hazelden. "Douglas Fairbanks, Jr., said, ‘I tried to drown my sorrows, but they floated.’ Drugs and alcohol suppress, distort and interfere with all feelings, including grief. Whenever you have to do something painful, it’s better to do it sober so the ‘real you’ can show up at your appointments." Mac Dougall maintains that our bodies are not well designed for the storage of feelings, but they are well designed for the...
Source: Recovery Is Sexy.com - Category: Addiction Authors: Tags: Alcohol Family grief Relationships chemical dependency drinking it away Family Program Source Type: blogs