When People Tell You What You "Need" To Do

I’ve written often on the dangers of disregulated eaters insisting they “must, should, ought, need, etc.” to do things. These words are prone to kick up a backlash and only start you fighting with yourself, exactly the wrong strategy when you’re trying to make healthful food choices. Likewise when people insist you “need” to do something. Learning how to handle others’ demands will help you make wiser decisions. This subject came up with a client whose dietician—a helpful, caring, woman—told her that she “needed” to cut back on portion size, stay away from high-sugar and –fat foods, and pay more attention while eating. This client had been doing all that and was pretty pleased with her food intake, although she granted that it wasn’t perfect. She tried to tell the dietician that, but only heard more “needs” and “shoulds.” After the session, my client told me she went on a binge. Now, why do you suppose that is? We often dig in our heels when people tell us we “need” to do something. But, think, is it true that you need to or is their need being exposed? After all, they’re the ones with the inner pressure to have you behave a certain way. Maybe their good feelings come from your success, maybe they feel helpless to change you, maybe they feel powerless to change themselves and are displacing feelings onto you, or maybe there’s out of control stuff going on in their lives and they’re trying to feel better...
Source: Normal Eating - Category: Eating Disorders Authors: Source Type: blogs