When People Tell You What You "Need" To Do
I’ve written
often on the dangers of disregulated eaters insisting they “must, should, ought,
need, etc.” to do things. These words are prone to kick up a backlash and only
start you fighting with yourself, exactly the wrong strategy when you’re trying
to make healthful food choices. Likewise when people insist you “need” to do
something. Learning how to handle others’ demands will help you make wiser
decisions.
This subject came
up with a client whose dietician—a helpful, caring, woman—told her that she “needed”
to cut back on portion size, stay away from high-sugar and –fat foods, and pay
more attention while eating. This client had been doing all that and was pretty
pleased with her food intake, although she granted that it wasn’t perfect. She
tried to tell the dietician that, but only heard more “needs” and “shoulds.”
After the session, my client told me she went on a binge. Now, why do you
suppose that is?
We often dig in
our heels when people tell us we “need” to do something. But, think, is it true
that you need to or is their need being exposed? After all, they’re the ones with the inner pressure
to have you behave a certain way.
Maybe their good feelings come from your success, maybe they feel helpless to
change you, maybe they feel powerless to change themselves and are displacing feelings
onto you, or maybe there’s out of control stuff going on in their lives and they’re
trying to feel better...
Source: Normal Eating - Category: Eating Disorders Authors: eatnormalnow Source Type: blogs