Okay, So I'm Depressed, I Get That Now.

Since my last post, I guess what I wrote towards the end, I've been crying and I just can't stop.  Is therapy really a good thing?  To hear things about yourself that you really don't want to hear, that make you sad, that you don't want to believe, like someone telling you that you're too hard on yourself when you don't think you're hard ENOUGH on yourself and you don't want to ease up even more than what you already are?I'm already a loser, I'm too hard on myself, seriously?  How could a loser possibly be too hard on themselves?  Shouldn't they be more hard on themselves to get it together?  I just don't understand at all, not at all!I am SO sad, SO confused, SO lost, I don't understand anything at all.  I just don't want to be here, I want to disappear.  I want my life to be different, I thought it would be different.  This is not what I wanted at all.  Everything is a mess and I don't know how to put it all back together.  Yet, from the outside, it probably looks like I have a pretty good life.  I don't, not at all.  Yet, I can't point to anything and say...THIS - THIS is awful, like I'm being abused or something.  No, nothing like that at all.My therapist said it's the chemicals in my brain, they're not right yet, I have to give it some time from missing my Lamictal for so long, and it will take awhile.  I told her it is SO, SO very lonely to have a mental illness, I felt so very alone because...
Source: bipolar.and.me - Category: Mental Illness Source Type: blogs