The Adventures of Bird Crap Girl

“Hey. HEY! I THINK A BIRD SHAT ON YOU!” I received this news in the science lab, during the first term of my first year of high school. I’d come from a tiny country primary school with just five people in my grade. Now I was in the scary high school with all the kids from the big primary schools who already knew each other and had trendy sneakers and snogging experience. I just wanted to blend in. To slink into class, hide up the back and never be noticed. But it was hard, with the ginger hair and the tubbiness and the wrong skirt. The Mothership was a busy working woman and had ran out of time to sew the prescribed knee-length straight navy skirt before term began, so I’d had to wear an old one of hers. It was the required navy, but it was A-line, mid-calf with an elastic waist. I looked sort of Amish. And now to take the wrongness up a level, apparently a bird had crapped on me. I thought I’d felt a sudden plop on my back as we waited outside lab for the teacher to arrive, but I’d figured it was a leaky ceiling, or a big gob of spit expelled from the balcony. But no, it was BIRD SHIT, as the girl sitting behind me kept saying in a really loud stage whisper. “It’s right down the back of your shirt,” she went on gleefully, “It’s greeny brown and gross and HUGE!” Well of course it bloody was; we were in Australia after all. No beast in our skies would have a delicate output. Possible culprit I ran though t...
Source: The Amazing Adventures of Dietgirl - Category: Other Conditions Authors: Tags: Living In Australia Source Type: blogs