Wright State University Boonshoft School of Medicine, commencement address, May 24, 2013

Good evening and congratulations to the Class of 2013! I graduated medical school almost exactly ten years ago today (which sounds like a much longer span of time than it actually feels) so naturally when I started to write this address I thought back to my own med school commencement ceremony, or what little I remember of it.  Particularly I tried to recall the invited speaker we had that year and what pearls of wisdom he imparted, so that I could frankly plagiarize them and pass his pithy truths off as my own. The problem is, I can’t remember anything he told us. Our med school commencement speaker for 2003 was Jimmy Breslin, a reporter for the New York Post and certainly a more illustrious figure than myself.  And he had a very well-written speech—I mean, probably he did, because again, I can’t remember—but all I really do recall is that he spoke a lot and he spoke for a long time.  And I remember thinking to myself, as I sat there in my academic regalia, sweating under the layers of polyester like one of those cook-in-the-bag microwave meals, that this man and his endless speech were the only things standing between me and my medical degree. (He did eventually stop talking, by the way.) I can’t convey to you what an honor it is to be invited to share this day with you all, which with the possible exception of this address, is likely one of the most important and memorable days of your life.  So when I sat down to write this speech, I had onl...
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