Forgiveness
Many disregulated eaters are stuck
in the past, with much of their energy going into trying to figure out why bad
things happened to them or caused their life to turn out the way it has. While
I’m all for understanding our histories, sometimes there’s work to be done to
move beyond it, especially when it involves people who have caused you harm.
It’s easy to get fixated on folks
who’ve hurt us. We can blame our unfulfilled or unhappy lives on them and avoid
responsibility for having let ourselves become victims of our history. I’m not
saying that for some people, especially those who’ve suffered trauma, it’s easy
to get beyond pain and suffering, but that holding on to what has come before often
gets in the way of living in the present and creating a better future.
Nowhere is this more true than in
the realm of forgiveness. Here’s what Frederic Luskin, director of the Stanford
Forgiveness Project and author of FORGIVE FOR GOOD—A PROVEN PRESCRIPTION FOR
HEALTH AND HAPPINESS, has to say on the subject: “Forgiveness…is actually
remembering differently. While lack of forgiveness is remembering something
with an edge or a grudge or a sense of injustice, forgiveness means remembering
it more benignly, with compassion. It involves some purpose of moving ahead, rather
than just being stuck in the past.” (Psychotherapy Networker, Jan/Feb 2013,
61-2) The reason to forgive, Luskin maintains, is to move on. It’s a
purposeful, intentiona...
Source: Normal Eating - Category: Eating Disorders Authors: eatnormalnow Source Type: blogs
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