Expanding the Envelope: A Method for Beating Anger

By Leo Babauta Here’s what I’ve been learning about anger in the last few years: it’s purely because of selfishness. Almost every time we get angry, it’s because something isn’t going our way. I’ve been practicing a method for beating this selfish anger, and I call it Expanding the Envelope of Compassion. That’s a pretty amazing title, I’m sure you would agree. Before we talk about the method, let’s look at why anger is so selfish. Here’s what happens: We want something a certain way. Other people (or occasionally, the Universe!) don’t give us that something in that certain way. We get mad. This is like a little kid who doesn’t get his way. Exactly like that little kid, except we’re grown-ups and are supposed to know better. I’m no different — I get angry just like everyone else. We act like little kids because the part of our brain that’s getting mad is really no different than a scared, selfish child. Let’s say we’re working and someone interrupts us: bam, so pissed off! Life is suddenly a boiling rage. OK, maybe we’re just annoyed. Why are we so annoyed/Hulk-enraged? Simply because we wanted to continue to work uninterrupted, but some buttwad has ruined that perfect fantasy. Or let’s say you want something from your spouse (love, attention, sex, support) and they don’t give it to you. Grrrr! How could they! We want something and we expect ...
Source: Zen Habits - Category: Life Coaches Authors: Tags: Uncategorized Source Type: blogs