Stop Using the Past to Predict the Future

It makes perfect sense that humans have used the past to predict the future. Consider the maxim that “those who ignore history are bound to repeat it” and that “you can’t know where you’re going if you don’t know where you’ve been.” Although I wouldn’t argue with either adage, I want to warn you about using your past to predict your future. I was thinking about this subject while talking with a client whose dysfunctional family created a great deal of chaos for her in childhood. She was always on high alert and trying to figure out if Mom was going to blindside her with criticism or if Dad was going to be drinking which meant driving unsafely. It was essential for her physical and emotional survival that she look for connections between what happened last time Mom was in a bad mood and Dad was on a bender and how they subsequently behaved. Mom’s bad moods generally led to her taking anger out on her children and Dad’s drinking led to impulsive behaviors that put his family at risk.  However, now that my client is middle-aged, she enjoys a pleasant life in Sarasota. She’s chosen a fine bunch of friends, owns her own home, and lives alone. Coming and going as she pleases, she has as much control over her life as an adult could wish for. Why then, does she spend time ruminating about the past as if doing so will keep her emotionally safe in the present? Fact is, she’s already safe in the present, but leaves it mentally far too...
Source: Normal Eating - Category: Eating Disorders Authors: Source Type: blogs