Stop Using the Past to Predict the Future
It makes perfect sense that humans
have used the past to predict the future. Consider the maxim that “those who
ignore history are bound to repeat it” and that “you can’t know where you’re
going if you don’t know where you’ve been.” Although I wouldn’t argue with
either adage, I want to warn you about using your past to predict your
future.
I was thinking about this subject
while talking with a client whose dysfunctional family created a great deal of
chaos for her in childhood. She was always on high alert and trying to figure
out if Mom was going to blindside her with criticism or if Dad was going to be
drinking which meant driving unsafely. It was essential for her physical and
emotional survival that she look for connections between what happened last
time Mom was in a bad mood and Dad was on a bender and how they subsequently
behaved. Mom’s bad moods generally led to her taking anger out on her
children and Dad’s drinking led to impulsive behaviors that put his family at
risk.
However, now that my client is
middle-aged, she enjoys a pleasant life in Sarasota. She’s chosen a fine bunch
of friends, owns her own home, and lives alone. Coming and going as she pleases,
she has as much control over her life as an adult could wish for. Why then, does
she spend time ruminating about the past as if doing so will keep her emotionally
safe in the present? Fact is, she’s already safe in the present, but leaves it
mentally far too...
Source: Normal Eating - Category: Eating Disorders Authors: eatnormalnow Source Type: blogs