Standing still

If you stand still too long, the detritus of life begins to cling. Before too long, you look down and you can't see yourself any longer; only the barnacles of everything that's pulling you under the surface. Try to tear it off, and you'll bleed out.He asks us to abide: stay under. Trust Him for oxygen when sobs wrack. Trust Him for a relief from this insurmountable pain of life that will someday come. That day when tears are wiped away.But this year I asked for less. Revisionist that I am (aren't we all?), I want to say I want less of this. Less pain, less work, less abiding. But that's not what I meant by less. I meant less of me. Is this what it feels like to be reduced, refined, re-envisioned? Scraping off barnacles with a sharp stone while I struggle to stay here in the searing moment, sit with the pain?Death is easy - you don’t know you’re a ghostThe fee is taken out nice and slowWhile you’re walking around with your cardboard crownWe think we are kingsWisdom warned us but our flesh is strongwe’ll find our own way we’ll  get alongWho knows what we needButlife costs so muchSomeone paid for the damagethe damage we’ve doneHow else do you explain all these open graves we’ve gotSomeone must have paid‘cause life costs~From Life Costs So Much, Christa Wells~I want to fly away, fly away. Get away. Be someone, someplace else. Get out of this old skin around bones that ache. All the world is gray but I know somewhere, sometime soon, the colors will bleed back ...
Source: Turquoise Gates - Category: Cancer Tags: fullers soap going under Pain when God feels far away hupomeno choosing life PTSD on my face before the Throne the hard road spiritual battle depression disassociation oneword365 demons scars Source Type: blogs