Better to Have Friends or Family?
Ever think about whether you’d be
friends with the members of your family of origin if they weren’t related to
you? I bet many of you would shout a resounding negative on that, while others
might want to say it but feel guilty. An important question: Do your blood bonds
really serve you as well as you yearn to think they do?
We’re raised to believe that family
is everything. Hearing this adage from relatives, religion, and society all our
lives, we accept it as truth. There’s a valid reason that we’re programmed to
value our family of origin: without it, as children, we’d be alone and unable
to survive. The instinct to value family is crucial both physically and
emotionally. However, when we can function on our own as adults, it’s time to assess
our experience with family to see if it’s all it’s cracked up to be. Maybe yes
and maybe no.
Contrast friends and family. For
the most part, our family of origin has known us longer, since we were babies.
They know our history and have shared most of it with us. That makes us feel positive
toward them because we enjoy being known. Also, even if we have terrible
memories of some relatives, we generally have some positive ones as well. Friends,
on the other hand, come later in life, even if some of our friendships were
made back when we were in grade school. So, family provides us with continuity.
What happens, though, when you’re
an adult and realize that your parents, siblings, grandp...
Source: Normal Eating - Category: Eating Disorders Authors: eatnormalnow Source Type: blogs
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