The Struggle

In August I became very ill and spent 5 days in the hospital. In the process I was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes, which was the underlying culprit in my whole medical misadventure. So for the last 6 months I have been struggling to come to terms with and learn to cope with now being a diabetic. Not my idea of a fun time.Days of what sometimes felt like endless finger sticks to check my blood sugar leaving my poor fingers looking a bit like they had been through a war — which I suppose they had. Trying to figure out what I can eat and what drives my glucose levels too high. Feelings about myself rising and falling based on the verdict of my glucometer.That was a reasonably good day.Then came the days when I just cried in frustration over no longer being able to eat what I want when I want it without worrying or even thinking about what price I might pay when the meter rendered its verdict. And the weight of knowing this is not a temporary thing, not something I will get over and go back to normal, whatever that is. Diabetes and checking my blood sugar and paying attention to my feet, because I have mild neuropathy, and monitoring myself as I never had to before is a part of my life for the rest of my life. Days like that come and go. Days when I feel rage at my body. Deep sadness. Depression. Writing in my journal trying, trying to get what this means for me, pouring out words for my feelings.  A “lifestyle illness” is what is often said about Type 2 diabetes. Implying...
Source: Jung At Heart - Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Source Type: blogs