How to Leave a Narcissist or Abuser

Once in love with a narcissist, it’s not easy to leave. Despite the abuse and your unhappiness, you may be ambivalent about leaving because you still love your partner, have young children, lack resources, and/or enjoy lifestyle benefits. You may want to leave, but feel stuck, and don’t understand why. Outsiders often question why you stay, or urge you to, “Just leave.” Those words can feel humiliating because you also think you should. Why It’s Hard to Leave When we fall in love, it’s natural to become attached and form a romantic bond. Narcissists, especially, can be exceedingly charming, interesting, and enlivening to be around. Initially, they and other abusers may treat you with kindness and warmth, or even love bomb you. Of course, you want to be with them forever and easily become dependent on their attention and validation. Once you’re hooked and they feel secure, they aren’t motivated to seduce you. Their charming traits fade or disappear and are replaced or intermixed with varying degrees of coldness, criticism, demands, and narcissistic abuse. You’re hopeful and accommodating and keep trying to win back their loving attention. Meanwhile, your self-esteem and independence are undermined daily. You may be gaslighted and begin doubting your own perceptions due to blame and lies. When you object, you’re attacked, intimidated, or confused by manipulation. Over time, you attempt to avoid conflict and become more deferential. As denial and cognitive di...
Source: Psych Central - Category: Psychiatry Authors: Tags: Abuse Bullying Codependence Domestic Violence Narcissism Relationships & Love Self-Esteem Self-Help Women's Issues Emotional Abuse Narcissistic Abuse Narcissistic Personality Disorder trauma bonding traumatic relationship Source Type: news