One Week

I have good moments, and then suddenly out of nowhere, a not so good moment. It isn ' t really " out of nowhere " , there is always a trigger of some sort, but the trigger effects me out of nowhere.Like right now. I got up this morning, ready to get to work on anything, everything, feeling good. I picked a random Christmas station to listen to and a song I have listened to a thousand times - Hallelujah - just brought tears to my eyes. I am sad now. Why?I normally do not, actually ever really, reach out to my relatives. But I am now. Maybe I appreciate them now. Or more. I want to be close to them now. More.Wow. I turned Christmas radio stations and guess what is starting from the beginning? Hallelujah. The thing is - I LOVE THE HECK out of that song. Why does it make me want to cry NOW?A few days after my mother passed away, I felt her presence. At the time, I do not remember thinking about it in particular, but it was so strong it was suffocating. I did not WANT to feel her presence at that moment, but it was so very strong. Suddenly it felt SO CLOSE, I want to say maybe two feet above me, it was unreal - so surreal.I know people feel this and it brings them great calm, they love feeling that they are in the presence of their loved one. For me? I didn ' t understand it. I looked around through her eyes, but she was seeing.Wow, this is hard. My cousin who is a few years yo...

Source: bipolar.and.me - December 18, 2016 Category: Psychiatry Source Type: blogs