Entering 2nd year with serious doubts

I worked so hard for so long to get into medical school but now that I'm here I'm not sure it's what I want. It isn't that the work is too hard (although it is) - I've never been afraid of hard work. It's just that since I've joined med school all the joy and colour seems to have gone from my life. I've been feeling low and discontented since very early on but a devastating personal tragedy a few months ago has really kicked things into overdrive. It's made me totally reevaluate what I want in my life. For example I've always felt ambivalent about having a family but now I know that I definitely do. Not that being a doctor precludes that, but I don't want to be working too much to enjoy my family. Even without that issue though I feel like I used to be this vibrant creative person and now I'm this empty shell that I don't even recognise. For context I'm 26 and have a previous degree in English and a previous career working with special needs children. I've travelled and had lots of gap years so I'm not suffering from a need to do something different before consecrating my life to medicine. I just dont know if my feelings are genuine or just a reaction to my recent tragedy. I don't want to throw away something I worked so hard for and then regret it later, but similarly I don't want to spend the next 5 years slogging through med school and foundation just to wind up 31, in serious debt and hating my life. I just feel so conflicted and miserable. I used to love my life but now...
Source: New Media Medicine - Category: Universities & Medical Training Authors: Tags: Current Medical Students Source Type: forums