Betrayal and what comes after

Many years ago someone told me that the Chinese character for crisis is composed of the characters representing danger and opportunity. I don ’t know if this is actually the case, but I do know that it expresses a truth. Crisis offers the opportunity to change course, to come to consciousness, to grow from the shattering of illusion. It also presents the danger of destruction or even death. It is hard to believe, in the pain suffered af ter a betrayal, that anything good can come of it. But even the most painful betrayal brings the possibility for growth and positive change as well as the dangers we are all so familiar with. The dangers -- revenge, denial, cynicism, self-betrayal – are all possible outcomes of a betrayal but so i s the opportunity which lies in forgiveness To forgive is to give future to a relationship, to be willing to continue in relationship with the betrayer. But before this can happen, if it can happen at all, we must first feel the betrayal deeply and fully, allowing in all the pain and hurt and humiliation. Often we desire to preserve the relationship, avoid the pain, and jump quickly to a hasty demand for apology and then to offer forgiveness. Doing this saves both parties from the searing pain of grappling deeply with what happened and what it means. The process of grappling with betrayal can become quite ugly and nasty and painful, something many people seek to avoid. It is far easier to put a band-aid over the wound and preserve the safety we ...
Source: Jung At Heart - Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Source Type: blogs