Let It Be

I don ' t, but it feels like I have the flu or some sort of physical ailment. I have spent the weekend in my warm two piece pajamas while snow has been falling outside. Smally, cuddly Bailey has been following me around everywhere I go, I am not sure if he always does this. I do not think the the degree he is now, and I certainly do not WANT him to at the degree he is now. I want him by me all of the time, and he is obliging without my saying a word.Mark is being such a sweetheart. Really, I could not ask for more supportive people in my life right now. His family, my family that I am connected with - everyone is very supportive and understanding of how I might be feeling about the passing of my mother ' s passing.Yet...no one can go through it but me, and there is no one to go through it with me. I can ' t explain how it feels or expect anyone to understand because it was such a complicated relationship, so myfeelings are complicated and I am unsure what exactly I am supposed to be feel.Maybe there is no right or wrong.Right now, I feel both sad and weepy and nauseated at the same time, as if I threw up I might feel better. That is what I mean, like I have the flu, but I do not think I do. Going the other way is way worse, but again, I do not think I am sick. Perhaps it is my nerves/emotions internally making me sick physically.I have no plans to attend my mother ' s funeral - I do not have some big need to say goodbye. ...

Source: bipolar.and.me - December 12, 2016 Category: Psychiatry Source Type: blogs