Reflections on Not-Moms and PANKs

Not-Mom and PANK. Do you know those terms? As far as I know, I’m the one who coined not-Mom. It describes the role I play as one who is ‘not-the-Mom.’ Kids need someone like me. So do parents. Do you remember those times – we all had them growing up – when we needed an adult to talk with who wasn’t our parent? Perhaps our parents were busy, overloaded and didn’t have the time or the patience to deeply listen. Between their jobs, commutes, household work and other kids, how could they? Or, perhaps we needed a sounding board to figure out how to talk with our parents. A not-Mom is a perfect person for times like that. A not-Dad is, too. If you’re a parent, you can imagine how supportive we might be, especially if your own extended families don’t live nearby. Yes, you love your kids, but then there are days – or nights when they blow curfew – that you could boot them to the moon, right? If that’s not enough, you’re parenting (or single-parenting) while you also manage multiple adult roles as a spouse, life-partner (or former spouse or life partner), employee, home owner, adult child of your parents, school or community volunteer and friend (if you have time for any). Add to that, you’re doing it within today’s increasingly parent-critical climate, with people second-guessing your decisions and strangers offering unsolicited advice.     Anyone can be a not-Mom, including Moms who have their own kids and are not-Moms for others’ children. Not eve...
Source: Disruptive Women in Health Care - Category: Consumer Health News Authors: Tags: Parenting Source Type: blogs