When we make mistakes

Eventually every therapist will make a mistake -- forget something important, be late, forget to return a call -- something. It will happen because it must, because we are human and part of the therapeutic process is learning to accept both one's own and the other's humanness. Some patients will stubbornly hold on to demands for perfection and not forgive even the most minor slips. As the therapist, I have to be willing to stay with it and apologize for the mistake and listen to the patient's hurt and anger while also trying to help them see that life has gone on, that the relationship is not over and that there is room for forgiveness.  It helps that I remember my own feelings when I discovered my analyst was not perfect. It's never easy to be caught in one's own errors and lapses, though with practice, over the years, it does get less anxiety provoking to listen to and deal with a patient's anger and disappointment.As a therapist, it is important that I not act out any hurt or anger caused by the patient. This means that the patient can say what happened and that the effect was that she were hurt or inconvenienced or whatever. And that there will not be retaliation. I have to sit on my own all-too human urges to defend myself, not always an easy task.
Source: Jung At Heart - Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Source Type: blogs