What's Wrong With Me?

Sorry I have been away, all is not great right now but all is not lost, if that makes sense.  I keep trying to figure out WHAT has got me in this funk, but when my mind tries to pin it on something, later I realize that's not it.  I have no explanation except to chalk it up to my chemical imbalance.I have been totally unmotivated to do anything (like write in my blog), am very anti-social and do not like leaving the house.  I have missed numerous appointments I've made with just about every sort of service simply because I can not make myself leave the house.  It's not anxiety about anything, I just don't feel up to it and don't feel "suitable for public viewing".  My self confidence is at a low, and I have this extreme fear of attempting something and failing.I have missed two psychiatric appointments and am reluctant to make another one simply to not show up again.  I know I will be forced to eventually when my medications start running out which won't be long.  My therapist is a true saint.  I keep missing her appointments to but she somehow stays with me, calling to make sure I am okay, etc.  I finally confessed it was extremely difficult for me to leave the house.  She suggested a phone session and said that was what she was there for - to help me.  Wow, even in situations like this?  Maybe people in the psychiatric business get people like me once in a while and if they r...
Source: bipolar.and.me - Category: Mental Illness Source Type: blogs